Time Reversal no Jutsu
by ChasingDreamsLikeAnIdiot
Summary: When hit by a mysterious jutsu, Deidara, Hidan and Itachi begin to lose their memories reverting back to their childlike states. It's up to their partners Sasori, Kakuzu, Kisame and the rest of the Akatsuki to find the perpetrators and reverse the effects of the jutsu before they lose their comrades forever. Originally written by Rose of Doom. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey so my friend Rose of Doom (who gave this to me ages ago, again sorry!) wants me to adopt her stories and post them here, since she can't do so anymore (life got in the way) So I decided to proof read and upload Time Reversal no Jutsu first. Sorry for the long wait. But here it is. I have also been tasked with finishing these stories so I'm sorry if they aren't as good as the original author but I will try my best._  
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**_Disclaimer: Plot isn't originally mine but it was given to me.  
_**

* * *

The morning was crisp and welcoming. The sun was shining brightly, yet it wasn't too hot. Birds were singing and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the surrounding forest.

Deidara sighed contently, as he gathered fresh new clay from a small river near the base. He dug his hands into the riverbed and pulled out handfuls of the wonderful substance. He grinned widely, placing it with the steadily growing pile. He lost track of time as he immersed himself in the activity.

"That should be enough un," he muttered to himself, cleaning his hands off in the water. He gathered up the clay in pouches and turned around to head back to base.

"Oi Blondie, took you fucking long enough!" growled the Jashinist. Deidara scowled a little at his friend.

"What are you doing here Hidan un?" he asked, "And what is _he _doing here?" He pointed at the Uchiha who appeared behind Hidan. Said Jashinist shrugged.

"Dunno, Pein in the ass wanted you back at the fucking base, and we were available," he grunted. Itachi did nothing to back this statement up other than looking smugly at the blonde. Deidara sighed irritably and pushed past the Uchiha.

"Hey, hey wait up Blondie," called Hidan. He hurried towards Deidara and walked with him back to base. Itachi made to follow but suddenly got a bad feeling. He looked around suspiciously.

"Deidara, Hidan," he warned. The two ninja turned to him.

"What's wrong un?" asked Deidara, becoming alert. Hidan sighed and looked at the surrounding trees.

Itachi drew a kunai. Just as he fell into a defensive stance, two people appeared out of the tree line. The first was a young woman. She smirked mischievously at the three men. Behind her was a man, forming hand signs at a fast pace. Itachi tried to react but found that he was completely paralysed. His gaze flickered to Deidara and Hidan. They were also in the same position as he.

"What the fuck is this?" roared Hidan. The young woman giggled sadistically.

"Don't worry darling just an experiment," she chuckled, kissing her companion's cheek. He smirked and began to form hand signs.

"What are you going to do un?" demanded Deidara, only a slight tint of fear to his voice. The woman smiled at him, malice flickering in her eyes.

"Nothing that will hurt," she replied, "Too much." The three men's eyes widened as the man finished making hand seals and a bright purple light flashed. All around them the world seemed to grow larger.

The two people smiled down at them.

"Aww adorable, you did so well!" she exclaimed, hugging the man tight. He smirked and whisked her off her feet before running into the forest.

"Those fuckers!" yelled Hidan, trying to run after them, only to trip on his oversized cloak. Deidara looked down at his tiny body, swallowed up by the black material.

"What the hell un?" he exclaimed, looking at Itachi and Hidan in alarm. Itachi growled.

"Seems to be an age reversal or something of the kind," he concluded. Hidan snorted.

"Well done fucking Uchiha prodigy!" he snapped. Deidara smirked. Then his face fell.

"We are gonna get so much hell for this un," he groaned. Hidan let loose a colourful stream of curses. Itachi rubbed his temples with his tiny fingers.

"We have to get back to the base," he said. Deidara nodded, for once putting his grudge against the Uchiha aside and helped Hidan drag his now massive scythe back to the hideout. Itachi took the lead, holding a kunai in his tiny fist.

* * *

The sight would have been rather comical to anyone else but as soon as the three five year old versions of the Akatsuki managed to tramp their way into Pein's office, one clutching a kunai and the other two dragging a large scythe, all the Leader of the criminal organisation could do was stare in shock.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded, trying hard not to faint on the spot. Hidan and Deidara scowled but Itachi answered his question.

"We were ambushed by two people," he explained, "They bound us with some kind of paralysis jutsu. Then the man performed another jutsu which shrunk us down to this size. We appear to be four years of age but our minds are still just about intact."

Pein's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Just about?" he queried. Itachi nodded.

"A few things in my mind are slightly hazing, almost like I'm forgetting things," he said, thoughtfully. Deidara's eyes widened.

"Same with me un!" he exclaimed. Hidan frowned.

"Me too," he muttered. Pein sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a big problem. Clearly the jutsu had to be reversed but for that, the caster had to either undo the jutsu or be killed. And of course, Kakuzu, Kisame and Sasori had to be told of the situation.

"Right wait here, do not move," he said eyeing them warningly. They nodded and the leader left to find the other three. Kisame and Kakuzu were in the living room.

"Kisame, Kakuzu we have a situation," said Pein sternly. They looked at their pierced leader questioningly but followed none the less. They headed to Sasori's workshop and found the puppet master working on his latest creation.

"Sasori, meeting in my office now," called Pein. Sasori growled.

"This better be important," he muttered. Pein smirked.

"Oh yes it is," he replied. The four criminals made their way back to Pein's office. The sight that met them was very unexpected indeed.

Propped up against Pein's desk, Itachi, Deidara and Hidan were in a deep slumber. The blonde was sitting in the middle, his head leaning on Hidan's shoulder, while Hidan rested his head onto of Deidara's. Itachi was leaning against Deidara, his and Hidan's arms draped protectively over the youngest.

Kakuzu and Sasori stared in shock. Kisame's eyes began to sparkle.

"Aww so kawaii!" he squealed, hearts radiating from him. The other three sweat dropped. Pein sighed.

"Your partners were attacked by two enemies and changed into four year olds," he explained, "They still have their adult minds for now but Itachi believes that it will fade away. We need to get the back to normal as soon as possible but for the time being, you three will look after your respective partners."

This was met with protests from Kakuzu and Sasori, while Kisame cheered with happiness.

"Pein, you expect me to look after that brat?" demanded Sasori.

"That little bastard will cost me nothing but money and trouble!"

"Hurray, I want to buy loads of cute clothes and take him to the park and-"

"Kisame shut up!" barked the other three. The arguing caused the sleeping kids to awaken. Deidara yawned and rubbed his eye with a tiny fist. He looked up and his face lit up when he saw Sasori.

"Danna un!" he squealed, leaping up and hugging the puppet's legs. Said puppet looked, rather irritated.

"What brat?" he growled, trying to shake the younger off. Deidara looked up, eyes sparkling.

"I'm happy to see you is all un!" he said sweetly. Sasori rolled his eyes and picked the young blonde up. He smiled and snuggled into the puppet's chest, quickly falling asleep again. Itachi walked over to Kisame and held onto his pant leg, while Kakuzu stepped forward and lifted Hidan, roughly by the collar.

"What the fuck you heathen bastard! Put me down!" screeched the tiny Jashinist, as he waved his fists at the miser. Kakuzu just smirked and carried him out of the room, much like a puppy.

"Now, should a little kid like you be using such language?" he teased. Hidan pouted angrily, crossing his arms.

"Fuck you bastard!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and threw the younger onto the couch in the living room. Hidan rubbed his neck after being practically strangled and glared daggers at the money lover. Pretty soon, Kisame walked in carrying Itachi, who looked rather annoyed by his partner's antics.

"Itachi-Chan you are such a cute child," he cooed. Itachi rolled his eyes and jumped out of the blue ninja's arms and walked over to the couch, sitting next to Hidan. Said Jashinist snorted.

"I think I got it fucking lucky, with that bastard," he muttered, to the disgruntled Uchiha, "I feel sorry for you man."

Itachi sighed and nodded, trying to avoid Kisame's adoring gaze. Sasori walked in with a sleeping Deidara and set him down next to Itachi. The blonde immediately woke up and looked around wearily.

"Where are we un?" he asked, sitting up straighter. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Living room," he replied. Deidara grimaced and looked over at the three elders.

"So how are we gonna get back to normal un?" he asked nervously. Being stuck in a four year old body made him feel vulnerable. And Deidara hated feeling vulnerable. Sasori smirked at him.

"What makes you think we will turn you back?" he said slyly. Deidara gulped.

"Um, because we would be a burden to you like this and we can't defend ourselves and we will kick your asses if you don't un!" he said quickly, getting annoyed at the puppet. Kisame snickered.

"Like a couple of four year olds could defeat us," he laughed. Deidara smirked.

"Itachi still has the Mangekyo un!" he said proudly, "He could beat all of you yeah. So change us back!" Hidan scowled.

"I bet the fucking paedophiles won't," he muttered. Itachi sighed, looking over at his partner.

"Kisame," he began, trying to look cute and succeeding," Please."

Kisame looked at the younger and bit his lip.

'Must-resist-cuteness!' he thought desperately. Itachi's gaze intensified, until finally Kisame cracked.

"Fine we'll help fix you!" he cried, throwing his hands in the air, "But you're all so cute!" Everyone in the room sweat dropped. Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose.

"How old are you again?" he muttered. Kisame pouted.

"I'm thirty two! A helluva lot younger than you!" he snapped. Kakuzu growled.

"Then act your age not your fucking shoe size!" he retorted. Deidara and Hidan snickered at the two fighting. Itachi sighed.

As Kakuzu and Kisame squabbled, Pein walked in and surveyed the scene. The three younger ones were sitting laughing at the swordsman and the banker as they bitched at each other, while Sasori watched the whole ordeal with a blank expression.

"Sometimes I wonder is this a criminal organisation or a day-care centre!" he cried throwing his hands up. Kakuzu and Kisame stopped midsentence, Deidara and Hidan continued to giggle quietly and Sasori and Itachi smirked. Pein massaged his temples.

"Right, all of you, go down to the store and buy those three," he pointed at Hidan, Deidara and Itachi, "New clothes and the like. Those cloaks are far too big. Once that is done, get back here and we will send you all out to track down the people who did this!"

His commands were met with a few 'yes sirs' and such. He smiled smugly and retreated to his office, which was rapidly becoming his sanctuary from the chaos which was Akatsuki. He sat down at his desk and looked through the many files and scrolls he had containing jutsu from all five nations. There had to be something in at least one of them. He sighed heavily, sifting through document after document.

"I wish Konan was here," he whined.

"Right, let's get the brats clothes quickly so we can leave," said Sasori, holding Deidara's hand tightly. Said blonde was happily looking around at the shops, trying to find one he liked the look of.

"Oh Danna un," he called, "Let's go there yeah!" Sasori looked towards the shop and sighed.

"Fine," he muttered. Deidara grinned triumphantly and dragged the puppet towards the clothes shop. Kisame and Kakuzu snickered at the sight and followed suite with their partners.

Naturally Hidan was being difficult.

"Why the fuck are we doing this?" he whined. Kakuzu growled and dragged him in by the arm. He winced at the miser's tight grip but continued to bug him anyway. There was nothing more fun than annoying Kakuzu!

"Kuzu you're hurting me!" he whimpered, tugging against his partner's hand. Kakuzu scowled.

"Never call me that again or I will kill you!" he grunted, "And hurry up picking clothes or you can run around naked for all I care!"

Hidan smirked.

"I bet you'd like that you fucking pedo!" Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hidan shut up!"

Meanwhile, Kisame was picking out clothes for Itachi to try on.

"Oh this one is cute! Oh and this! That one too! What do you think Itachi-Chan?" he asked brightly, holding up a black shirt with fishnet sleeves. Itachi smiled a little.

"Okay," he replied. Kisame squealed with happiness and hugged the Uchiha tightly.

"I couldn't have asked for a better little kid!" he exclaimed proudly, ruffling the younger's hair. Itachi cringed. He looked over to see Deidara merrily choosing outfits, while the puppet watched, looking rather bored.

What Itachi wouldn't give to be in the blonde's position right now.

* * *

**_The rest will be uploaded in due course and then I will upload the other stories and try to get them all finished as well as I can._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Next chapter is up. I'll probably post these in groups of three or four. I know I'll try to get it all done quickly (mostly for my sake)**_

* * *

"Oh my god! He is adorable!"

"I just wanna take you home with me!"

Itachi hid behind Kisame, clinging to the swordsman's pant leg. The raven was being terrorized by a group of women who were enjoying fawning over him. Kisame chuckled at the younger's horrified expression and lifted him up.

"Don't worry Itachi-Chan, we can leave soon," he said cheerfully. Itachi gave Kisame a grateful smile and sent a glare towards the women who were now doting over Deidara.

"Danna un!" he cried, "Help me yeah." Sasori turned and saw the blonde surrounded by middle aged ladies, all squealing. He sweat dropped and fought through the small crowd to retrieve the thoroughly freaked out four year old.

"Excuse me ladies I think you're scaring him," he said smoothly. Their smiles grew even wider when they saw the good looking puppeteer, clutching the adorable child.

"Oh is he yours? You must be so proud!"

"He looks just like you!"

"I swear he has your nose!"

Sasori growled and pushed past them, heading towards Kisame. He scanned the crowd for Kakuzu.

"Where is that bastard so we can get out of here?" he growled. Kisame chuckled.

"You're just pissed because they think you're his father," he muttered. Sasori scowled.

"Hey kids, who wants sushi for dinner?" he asked slyly. Deidara pouted.

"You can't make sushi with shark un," he murmured. Kisame and Sasori sweat dropped.

They found Kakuzu a short while later, trying to strangle Hidan. This of course drew a crowd and several angry threats to call social services. Hidan was especially delighted when Kakuzu was smacked by a little old lady with a huge red handbag.

"That was fucking hilarious!" he exclaimed, strutting up to the counter with his purchases. Kisame and Sasori set down the clothes for Itachi and Deidara with Hidan's. Kakuzu fainted when the final price came to 36 000 ¥. Sasori considered leaving him there, much to Hidan's delight, but Kisame grudgingly dragged the miser back home.

Deidara, Hidan and Itachi walked up ahead, hoping to get back to base before they were attacked again.

Of course, enemy ninja were the least of their worries. In their current condition, they were more concerned about the mobs of women.

Once they arrived back at the base, they were greeted by Konan. She stared on, with a vacant expression at the sight of Hidan, Deidara and Itachi.

They looked up at her in confusion until a wide smile spread across her face

"Oh you are sweet!" she exclaimed, pulling them into a hug. They cringed but didn't deny the blunette her hug. Heads would roll otherwise. She straightened up, beaming at the three older partners.

"What happened to Kakuzu?" she asked curiously. The miser was still unconscious and looked a little worse for wear considering Kisame had dragged him along a dirt track on the way back home. Hidan snickered.

"The fucker had to spend money!" he giggled. Konan frowned at the Jashinist.

"Hidan, that language is bad!" she scolded, "But really, he needs to get over his money obsession." Hidan laughed even harder. They stepped back into the base and got changed into their new clothes. Once that was done, Deidara felt hungry. He turned to Sasori.

"Danna un?" he asked, "I'm hungry yeah." Sasori sighed.

"Come on then," he muttered. Deidara smiled widely, tottering after the puppet. They walked into the kitchen to see Hidan and Itachi seated at the table, Kisame and Konan making lunch. Sasori helped Deidara up onto a chair and sat down next to him. Konan smiled.

"It's nice to see all of you getting on so well!" she chuckled, stirring a pot of ramen. Sasori scowled.

"I'm just following orders," he retorted. Deidara pouted, looking down at his hands. Tiny tongues poked out at him, wagging happily. Konan gave the puppet a stern look.

"Now Sasori, that was mean!" she said warningly. Sasori rolled his eyes and ruffled the blonde's hair.

"You know I don't mean it brat," he muttered. Deidara smiled widely and hugged the redhead.

"I know Danna un!" he said happily, "Being mean is just in your nature yeah!"

Kisame chuckled heartily, dishing out the ramen for everyone.

"That's you told Sasori," he sniggered, "And by a four year old no less!" The puppet scowled and threw a spoon at the shark, who dodged it easily.

They ate their meal in a comfortable atmosphere, Deidara, Hidan, Kisame and Konan chatting away, while Sasori talked quietly to Itachi.

They were finished and washing up when Zetsu appeared.

"So you did get** turned into brats**," he remarked with a smirk. Hidan and Deidara scowled.

"Not our fault un," snapped the blonde, "We didn't ask for this yeah!" Zetsu just chuckled.

"Whatever you say Deidara-Chan," he replied, "**Pein is calling a meeting**. Everyone is to report **to the meeting room.**"

Kisame washed up quickly and then grabbed Itachi's hand before walking into the meeting room. Itachi cringed.

"You know Kisame," he began quietly, "I am capable of walking around the base on my own." Kisame chuckled and released his hand.

"Whatever you say Itachi-Chan," he said, smiling. Itachi walked quickly towards the meeting room and climbed up into his chair. Kisame plopped down in his seat Itachi and Sasori. Said puppet was watching Deidara struggle to climb into his chair. Being the smallest of the three now four year olds, he was glaring at the high backed chair with determination in his big blue eyes. Sasori chuckled at his brat's misfortune and gave him a boost. He pouted, glaring at the red head.

"I don't need help Danna un!" he muttered. Sasori smirked.

"Save it brat, you're helpless."

Hidan went to the living room to get Kakuzu.

"Oi fuckface, we're having a meeting," he shouted, jumping onto the elder's stomach. Kakuzu woke with a start, snarled at the Jashinist and threw him across the room. Hidan yelped and rubbed the back of his head.

"What the hell was that for you bastard!" he exclaimed. Kakuzu smirked and stood up from the couch. He grabbed Hidan's upper arm and dragged him down the hall.

Once in the meeting room, he dumped Hidan in his seat and took his place between Hidan and the vacant seat.

Finally, Zetsu arrived with Pein and took his place. Pein sat at the head of the table. He surveyed the members, finding it rather amusing that the three victims of age reversal were barely visible at their places.

"Alright, as you all know, Hidan, Deidara and Itachi were cursed with an age reversal jutsu," he announced. Hidan snorted.

"What to state the fucking obvious!" he snarled. Pein held up a hand, silencing the Jashinist. He continued.

"Now, I've been doing some research into the subject. It seems there are several villages that either experimented with this type of jutsu in the past, or are still studying it."

He checked around to make sure everyone was listening.

"Therefore, I have decided to send you out to these villages, to try and collect information on the jutsu and the people responsible for the attack on our members."

He finished and looked at the questioning faces of his subordinates. Sasori frowned.

"Will brat, Hidan and Itachi be going with us?" he asked. Pein shook his head.

"They may go with you at the moment but as their minds deteriorate, they will have to stay behind at the base. You will have to protect them. Itachi still has the Sharingan and Deidara can still use clay; however Hidan may need extra protection."

The zealot growled and jumped onto the table.

"What the fuck Pein?" he snapped, "I'm not Jashin damned helpless!"

Pein smirked.

"I never said you were Hidan, however in your current condition it would be impossible for you to wield your scythe," he pointed out. Hidan pouted and flopped back into his chair. Kakuzu saw fit to smack him up the head.

Pein rolled his eyes.

"Anyway first of all I want to send out Sasori and Deidara to Kusa. We have a contact there who works on analysing jutsu from different countries."

The two artists nodded, Deidara grinning mischievously. Pein handed a scroll to Sasori before turning to Kisame and Itachi.

"You two will go to Konoha, and break into their intelligence division," he said clearly, "They may have information there."

Kisame frowned.

"Will they not recognise Itachi-Chan?" he asked nervously. Pein smirked and shook his head.

"They won't, you will both be disguised, plus anyone who knew what Itachi looked like when he was young is either dead or will have forgotten that he was once an innocent child and will have replaced that image with a monster," he replied, smugly.

Itachi flinched internally. He cursed silently. The jutsu was beginning to mess with his emotions already.

"And finally Hidan and Kakuzu will go to Oto," Pein finished, handing the scroll to Kakuzu, who took it questioningly.

"Why Oto?" he asked.

"Orochimaru is obsessed with immortality," Pein explained, "I think it is likely that he would have some information on aging jutsu. I would have sent Itachi and Kisame but there is a risk that our ex member will try to kidnap him again. Therefore sending our Immortal Duo seemed more feasible."

Everyone nodded, seeing sense in their leader's decisions. Pein stood up.

"Everyone will be ready to leave by tomorrow noon," he said, "You are dismissed."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 here people.**_

_**To KadentsaNaito7771: Thank you for being the first reviewer of this reupload! I'm sure Rose of Doom appreciates your feedback and I'll definitely upload as quick as I can for you :)**_

_**To Guest: Actually, yes, little kids calling grown ups 'pedo' is rather overdone. However, Hidan is not a 'little kid' he still has his twenty two year old mind and would do anything to spite Kakuzu, including random and generic insults, so read what's in front of you :) I have younger siblings, younger cousins and I babysit kids under ten all the time, so I know how they talk and they do not swear like Hidan, talk intelligently about strategy and jutsu like Itachi, nor do they go 'un' like Deidara. Please don't make assumptions about me or Rose, just because one little thing in our story annoys you. **_

* * *

Once the meeting was over, everyone dispersed. Itachi took this opportunity to escape the adoring aura of his partner. He headed towards Deidara and Hidan who were talking in hushed tones to one another. They turned their attentions to the raven as he approached.

"Itachi un," Deidara motioned for Itachi to join, "How long do you think we will have our memories for yeah?" Itachi pondered the question for a moment.

"We haven't been subjected to it long enough to make an estimation," he answered, "But once we get back from our missions, we should know more by then." Hidan sighed irritably.

"I fucking hope so," he muttered, "I dunno how much more fucking manhandling I can take from stitch bitch over there." Deidara giggled.

"I got the best partner un," he announced proudly, "Sasori isn't too nice or too mean yeah!" Hidan huffed.

"Yeah Blondie gets Woody who just makes sure he stays alive, I get that asshole who tries to fucking kill me every five damn minutes and Itachi gets fucking mother shark!" He cast the Uchiha a sympathetic look.

"Damn, you drew the fucking short straw! I actually feel sympathy for you!"

Itachi sighed and nodded.

"His intentions are sincere," he stated, "I just hope he calms down before we head to Konoha. Leader-sama will not be impressed if he ruins Akatsuki's reputation."

"I think that's gonna be the least of our worries un," muttered the blonde, "We're gonna get attacked by mobs of women again yeah!" They all cringed at their horrible nightmares of the clothes shop experience.

"Itachi-Chan, let's go prepare for our mission~"

Itachi bolted at the sound of his blue tormentor. Racing through the base until he came across a random door he darted inside and slammed the door shut. He sighed with relief and slid to the floor. He listened out for the frantic tones of his partner.

"Itachi-Chan? Itachi? Itachi-Chan where are you?"

There was silence. Itachi stood up, assuming the shark Nin had given up until he heard an ear splitting shriek.

"ITACHI-CHAN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SOMEONE KIDNAPPED MY ITACHI-CHAN! QUICK SAVE HIM!"

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU DAMN FREAK! IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT FOR SCARING HIM AWAY!"

"HOW DARE YOU! I WOULD NEVER!"

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!"

Pein struggled to keep his temper. He was beginning to wonder who had been turned into children.

"If you don't all behave I will give Deidara permission to blow this base up with everyone in it!" he exclaimed. He paused before adding, "After I get my stuff and Konan out."

A few of the members interjected.

"What about my puppets?"

"And my money?"

"And our **plants?"**

"Alright fine, he can blow it up after I get my stuff and Konan out, Sasori saves his puppets, Kakuzu gets his money and Zetsu gets his plants. But after that everyone and everything else will die!"

"Yay!" cheered an exuberant blonde. Sasori sighed and placed a wooden hand on his head to stop him from bouncing in anticipation.

"He didn't mean it brat," he muttered. Deidara pouted and gave Pein a cute glare. Konan chuckled and swept him into a hug.

"Don't worry Deidara-Chan, you can blow up things on your mission with Sasori," she assured him. He beamed up at the blue haired woman. Sasori just sweat dropped.

"You can't make promises like that to a four year old," he muttered. Konan glared.

"Stop doubting my parenting skills!"

"You have parenting skills?"

"How dare you-"

"Konan don't start as well!" Pein shrieked. He was getting desperate now. Even his partner, _his partner,_ was going crazy over this strange but no less catastrophic catastrophe! Order had to be reinstated. He stood proud and in a true leader fashion, belted out orders.

"Right! Kakuzu, Sasori, take your partners and go prepare for your missions, Zetsu, go look for Itachi, Konan come back with me and help with paperwork! Kisame, for the love of God-"

"It's Jashin you damn heathens!"

"-Go back to your room and stay put until tomorrow! Everyone understand?"

Everyone nodded and left for their required task. Zetsu sank through the wall and quickly found Itachi.

"Itachi-Chan you're safe now, **your mommy's in his room**," he called. Itachi sighed and nodded. He quickly exited the room and headed down to his bedroom. He heard sobbing on the other side of the door. Opening it he saw his partner bawling his eyes out over his photograph.

"Kisame?" he asked incrediously. The shark Nin's head sharply turned to face the door. He raced forward and swept the raven into a suffocating embrace.

"Oh Itachi-Chan, I thought I lost you!" he cried, "Never do that to me again!"

Itachi flailed his little arms around, struggling to breathe.

"Kisame-ack-can't-breath!" he gasped. Kisame immediately let him go.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" he bawled, fresh tears streaming down his face. Itachi wearily tried to calm the hysterical man.

'This is going to be a long mission,' he thought.

Deidara was sitting on the floor of Sasori's room, prepping clay. The redhead was looking for a bag that his brat could use to carry his clay in, since his pouches which he wore on his hips, were now far too big for his tiny frame. Deidara was humming away, oblivious to the world around him, completely focused on the task at hand.

"Brat, try this on," said Sasori, throwing a back pack at the blonde.

The sculptor took the bag and strapped it on. It was a plain white canvas bag, with one strap which was slung over his right shoulder and went under his left arm. He tightened the strap until it fit snug and beamed at the puppet master.

"Thanks Danna un!" he said happily, "This is perfect yeah!"

Sasori smiled a little before going back to work on a puppet. They worked away in a comfortable silence, for once, not really minding the other's company.

Of course, one pair was not failing to uphold the finest of Akatsuki traditions. Kakuzu and Hidan saw past the recent complications and prepared for their mission the only way they could.

With a screaming match and lots of bloodshed.

In the last two hours, Hidan had managed to complain about missing a sacrifice, about being small enough for Kakuzu to lift by the collar of his shirt, about Kakuzu in general and the latest indignity; not being allowed to take his precious scythe with him.

"What the fuck do you mean, I can't take it?" screamed the four year old. Kakuzu growled and tried to filter the angry brat out. His efforts were naturally in vain.

"Kakuzu, can't you just carry it for me?" Hidan whined. He could see a vein pop in the miser's temple and drew satisfaction from the knowledge that he was definitely pissing him off.

"Because you idiot, even if I carried it, you still can't use it in combat!" he snapped, "Even Tobi could work that out!"

Hidan pouted furiously.

"Fine you mean bastard," he grunted, before storming out of the room. Trailing through the halls he came to the kitchen, where Konan was beginning to make dinner. She looked over and smiled warmly.

"Hey honey what's wrong?" she asked, lifting him up and balancing him on her hip. Hidan pouted and buried his face in her shoulder.

"Kakuzu's being mean to me," he sniffled, "He won't let me take my scythe on our mission. My scythe is really important."

Konan chuckled warmly.

"Don't worry Hidan-Chan, I'll take care of your scythe for you while you're away," she assured him, "But you couldn't possibly use that big heavy thing anyway."

Hidan growled softly.

"It's not fucking fair! I don't want to be little!" he whined. Konan laughed and set him down.

"We will fix you soon, just be patient," she said kissing the top of his head. The Jashinist smirked.

'I could get fucking used to this!' he thought gleefully. Konan went back to serving up dinner and pretty soon everyone was seated at the table. Itachi, Deidara and Hidan all sat together, strangely since Deidara hated Itachi and the raven was hardly sociable. However being in the same predicament pulled them together.

They all ate in a comfortable atmosphere until a nightmare walked through the front door.

"TOBI IS HOME! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

Deidara's eyes widened comically and he hid under the table. Hidan peered under at the quivering blonde.

"What the fuck Dei?" he queried. The artist shook his head rapidly.

"He can't find me un," he whimpered, "I'll never get a moment's peace yeah."

"What is sempai doing under the table?"

Deidara turned his head slowly, dread filling him. Tobi emitted hearts as he pulled the frantic sculptor out from under the table and hugged him to death.

"Aw! Sempai is soooo cute; Tobi wants to eat him up!"

"TOBI LET GO OF ME OR I'LL BLOW YOU TO HELL AND BACK UN!" screamed Deidara. He struggled against the masked man's vice like grip, eyes darting around the room for help. "Danna un! Save me!"

The puppet shrugged.

"Not my problem."

"Asshole un!"

In the end, Konan and Kisame rescued Deidara from Tobi while Kakuzu threw him from the room. Deidara clung to Konan like a lifeline and refused to leave her until Sasori agreed to carry him to his bedroom. Konan sighed.

"Okay for his own protection, keep Tobi away from Deidara," she ordered. Itachi looked at her with a hopeful look. She leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Sorry Itachi but you'll have to bear with Kisame," she whispered. The Uchiha's hope shattered right there and he slumped back into his seat, still fully aware of the watchful eyes practically glued to him.

'If he keeps watching me like that his eyes will fall out,' he thought, a tiny glimmer of hope sparking, 'at least he won't be watching me anymore!'

With that merry thought, Itachi excused himself from the table and tugged Kisame's sleeve, in a motion to follow. He may as well get used to the swordsman's constant presence, for their mission to Konoha was tomorrow.

Perhaps with a bit of luck, they would be a step closer to the jutsu or its casters.

* * *

**_I'll upload three more chapters tomorrow. That's your lot for today._**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4 guys. Thank you everyone who reviewed so far :)**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

The base was buzzing the next morning. All the Akatsuki were seated at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.

"Everyone is to be ready and leaving at noon," Pein said with a cheerful tone, "If anyone is still here, I will personally kick their asses out that front door!"

Everyone else scowled.

"Don't we feel loved," Kisame grumbled irritably, clutching his coffee like a lifeline. Deidara and Hidan were smirking about something while Itachi simply watched them with an amused glint in his eyes.

"Is everything set up?" Itachi whispered. The little blonde bobbed his head with a grin.

"Yep un," he replied, "It should kick off as soon as we leave yeah." Hidan giggled again.

"This is gonna be fucking great!" he exclaimed quietly. Sasori and Kakuzu, who were listening in, exchanged looks and shrugged simultaneously. As long as it didn't affect them, they didn't care.

"Come on brat," Sasori said standing up, "Let's go get ready."

Deidara grinned and jumped from his chair.

"Okay Danna un," he chirped, trailing along after the puppet. Konan and Tobi had hearts in their eyes as they watched the little bomber go.

"HE IS SO CUUUUUTEEEEE~!" they squealed. Everyone else covered their ears to prevent themselves going deaf. Itachi gritted his teeth.

"I'm already going blind, I don't need to lose my hearing thank you!" he snapped before grabbing Kisame's sleeve and tugging him out of the room. The blue skinned ninja happily obliged and followed the mini Uchiha back to their room to prepare. Konan squealed.

"Oh my God," she squeaked, "Do we have to change them back?" Hidan scowled.

"It's Jashin bitch, and yes you fucking do!" he growled, "Or I'll fucking sacrifice the lot of you!" Kakuzu smirked and closed his bingo book.

"What the hell could you do in that form?" he teased. His partner glared at him, yet it was more cute than intimidating.

"I'll bite your fucking ankles!" he stated, snapping his teeth with an evil grin. The stitched ninja rolled his eyes at the childish antics.

"Right," he sighed, "We should go too I suppose." Hidan laughed and jumped off his chair and raced out of the room. Kakuzu got up slowly and glared at Konan.

"We _are_ changing them back because I refuse to have that little shit as a partner," he announced menacingly, "He was bad enough when he could just barely take care of himself."

The blunette chuckled heartily at the money lover.

"Oh Kakuzu, you love it really," she said with a smile. He grunted and left them room to avoid argument. Konan turned to Pein with a gleam in her eyes. He held up a hand.

"Konan whatever you're thinking, the answer is no," he said sternly. Konan frowned.

"How do you know what I'm going to ask?" she demanded, a perfect eyebrow raised. Pein gulped a little at the look she was giving him. Damn, that woman could be scary!

"I just do!" he exclaimed, standing up quickly, "I have work to do! Goodbye."

He walked calmly (Ran like hell!) out of the room towards his office (panic room).

* * *

Itachi and Kisame were packing their equipment for the mission to Konoha. Itachi was a little nervous about going back. Usually he would be perfectly fine on the outside; however the jutsu meant he had less control of emotions. After failing to fasten the clasp on his backpack for the third time, he growled and threw it on the floor, before crossing his arms and huffing out his cheeks.

Kisame looked over to see an angry little Itachi having a glaring match with the bag. He chuckled a little and lifted the pack off the floor.

"Something wrong Itachi-Chan?" he asked gently, setting the pack on the bed. Itachi blushed and looked down at his feet awkwardly.

"Um, n-nothing is wrong Kisame," he murmured. Kisame frowned and picked the raven up. He sat down and placed him on his lap.

"If something is bothering you Itachi-Chan, you should tell me," he said quietly, "We are partners, so we need to look out for each other." Itachi sighed and hugged the shark man.

"I'm, just a little nervous about going back to Konoha," he murmured, "I always feel like this when I have to go back. But now everyone can see as well."

Kisame chuckled heartily at the answer. He hugged the younger and patted his head.

"Don't worry Itachi-Chan, I will be there with you," he assured him, "And don't worry about hiding your emotions. Sometimes it's healthier to let them out."

Itachi sighed and allowed a small smile to light up his face.

"I guess you're right, Kisame," he muttered. Kisame grinned a toothy grin and looked down at the Uchiha.

"C'mon now, we gotta get ready to leave or Leader might skin us alive!" he joked. Itachi giggled a little and hopped off his partner's lap.

* * *

Deidara was busy placing all of his clay into the white bag that Sasori had given him, while the puppet himself was packing scrolls into his cloak. The blonde finally had all of his clay and placed the pack on his back. It was much heavier than he expected.

He toppled backwards.

"Ouch un," he whimpered, trying to stand up again, "Too heavy yeah." Sasori looked over and started to chuckle at the sight.

Deidara had managed to fall on his back and was now trying to stand up by waving his arms and legs around; he resembled an upside down turtle. Sasori stood up with a sigh and grabbed the blonde under the arms and stood him upright. He was wobbling around trying to remain balanced. The redhead chuckled again.

"Stop laughing un," Deidara whined, "This is serious yeah!" The puppet shook his head a little.

"You are just too helpless, it's funny," he smirked. Deidara glared and took off the pack.

"This is never gonna work un," he muttered, "It's too heavy but that's what I usually take un."

Sasori frowned a little, trying to help out his brat. An idea came to mind which would mean he actually had to be nice. It was about to be thrown out the window but since this mission had to be successful; he decided to swallow his pride and bite the bullet.

"If you want I could carry some of the clay in reserve," he suggested, "You carry most of it and I could lighten the load by taking a little."

Deidara thought for a moment before smiling brightly and nodding.

"Okay un!" he cheered. They worked out how much the blonde could carry and Sasori got a couple more pouches which he carried with him. Deidara was starting to like this jutsu. It meant his partner actually acted like a partner!

* * *

Hidan was huffing on his bed, watching Kakuzu pack his things. He looked almost mournfully at his scythe which he was about to leave behind. Never before had he gone into battle without it. Kakuzu looked over his shoulder and saw the Jashinist looking a little down.

"You know Hidan, the sooner we get this mission done, the sooner we can get you back to normal," he said, trying to raise the younger's spirits. Hidan scowled.

"It's just not fair, he snapped, "Dei and Itachi don't have to stop using their weapons and stuff. I'm the only one this fucking jutsu actually affects."

Kakuzu shrugged.

"True but you are still my partner, so I still need you on this mission," he stated matter of factly. Hidan glared half-heartedly at the elder.

"Yeah right, you _really _need my fucking help," he muttered irritably. Kakuzu shrugged and went to sit next to him.

"True, I could probably do this mission without your help," he said simply, causing Hidan to growl, "But I'll admit, you do make things more…interesting."

Hidan stared at his partner for a moment. Was he being serious? He smirked a little before lightly punching the elder on the arm.

"Thanks bastard," he said with a grin. Kakuzu returned his smirk.

"No problem, you little shit."

* * *

The six ninja were standing at the front door preparing to leave. Konan was giving the three little ones a heartfelt farewell; as in she was hugging the shit out of them.

"Oh promise me you will be careful!" she cried, crushing little Deidara, who was slowly turning blue. Itachi and Hidan pulled her away to give the blonde some breathing room.

"We always are Konan," Itachi murmured. The blunette smiled widely before turning on the three older members.

"If they come back with so much as a scratch, I will lock you all in a room with Tobi after feeding him sugar and then feed you to Zetsu!" she growled. Kisame, Sasori and Kakuzu gulped simultaneously and sweat dropped. Pein chuckled merrily and shooed them out the door.

"Well, have fun you lot," he called, "And don't rush yourselves!"

Itachi, Hidan and Deidara shared smirks before the youngest formed his famous handsign. The three counted down together.

"Three…two…one…KATSU!"

A rather loud explosion sounded from the direction of Pein's office. His ringed eyes widened as he turned his head towards the source of the explosion. He ran down the corridor and fell to his knees with a very unmanly scream. His paperwork lay strewn across the floor which was scorched as well as the walls. His desk lay strewn in several different locations of the room.

His face twitched.

"DEIDARA! ITACHI! HIDAN! GET BACK HERE!"

The three youngers stopped laughing and the grabbed their respective partners.

"RUN!"

* * *

**_Before anyone bitches, yes they did just blow up Pein's office for no reason other than as a joke. Rose decided that she wanted this to happen. So it stays in. R&R folks!_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 is up! I would have done it earlier but my boyfriend and I were talking on Skype and I got distracted talking about anime villains, anime in general and art! :3 **_

_**Anyway enjoy.**_

* * *

Scrabbling through a mass of paper and scorched furniture, Pein vowed to murder the blonde bomber known as Deidara and his lackeys who played a hand in this evil act. He would have extracted his revenge already, had a certain blue haired kunoichi not stopped him and demand that he clean up the mess first, allowing his target to escape with his Danna…who would die as well for the stupid grin that redhead was sporting as they raced for the horizon!

As he carried out yet another handful of burnt debris, he cursed the actions of the woman, who unfortunately owned his ass.

Konan strolled down the hall to see how her bitch was fairing in his cleaning, whistling innocently. Sensing the murderous aura emitting from the office, she made a beeline for the kitchen and found Tobi, sitting at the table, kicking his feet back and forth.

"Tobi, what are you doing here?" she asked casually, preparing herself some tea. The masked man giggled a little, pushing himself away from the table.

"Oh nothing Konan-chan," he replied airily, "Tobi was just wondering if there was a chance of that terrible jutsu that happened to Chibi Senpai becoming permanent."

Konan turned to stare at him, eyes glowing with curiosity.

"What would you have in mind?"

"Tobi doesn't know what you're talking about Konan-san," he remarked before springing to his feet and rushing from the room.

Konan watched him disappear, her eyebrows raised. Shaking her head a little; she didn't want to know what that lunatic was up to, nor be involved.

* * *

As they made their way to Kusa, Sasori was left to wonder what exactly wasn't working with Pein's grand plan to return Hidan, Itachi and Deidara to normal.

Sending the puppet to Kusa, there was no problem with that. He did have a spy in one of the research facilities in the country so it was a logical decision.

However sending Sasori with a _four year old_…not so much.

The artists were making their way through the deep forests, towards the facility Sasori's spy was working in. Deidara was getting tired rather quickly and Sasori was losing patience. He was expecting this but it didn't stop him from getting irritated.

"Brat, hurry up or I'm leaving you behind," he snapped. The blonde growled a little at the puppet.

"I'm trying Danna un," he muttered, "This body is easily fatigued yeah."

The redhead sighed and continued walking.

Deidara huffed and padded along after his Danna. He couldn't help the fact that he had fallen victim to the jutsu. If it had been Sasori in his position, he would have been much nicer! Well…after a lot of teasing and laughing…but definitely nicer!

The redhead kept an eye out for any threats as they neared a clearing. They were supposed to meet the informant a few miles from here at noon. Once in the clearing, he stopped below a tree and leaned against it. Deidara sighed with relief as he collapsed against the tree and closed his eyes.

"Damn, that was tough un," he groaned. Sasori smirked and sat down next to him.

"This mission is going to take forever," he sighed, "You need to speed up."

The blonde stuck his tongue out at the puppet master.

"Not my fault un," he growled. Sasori chuckled a little. Even as a little kid, the bomber was still boisterous.

"Whatever you say brat," he smirked, standing up. Deidara groaned as he struggled to his feet. Sasori rolled his eyes and swiftly scooped the little blonde up and swung him onto his back. Deidara landed with a little 'oof'.

"What are you doing un?" he demanded. Sasori hoisted him up higher and set off at full speed.

"If you were walking, we would have missed the deadline," he stated, "This is faster."

Deidara sighed and clung to the puppets neck.

'Here goes my dignity un', he thought with a small smile. Maybe that wasn't so bad.

* * *

"Kisame slow down a little," Itachi yelled. I know what you're thinking. The Itachi Uchiha yelling? Completely absurd!

Well if you were perched on Kisame Hoshigaki's shoulders with him running at full speed, you would be yelling too!

"Sorry Itachi-Chan," Kisame called back, "But we need to get to Konoha by tomorrow."

The little raven huffed and buried his face in Kisame's blue hair. He understood the need to hurry but was it really necessary to ride on his partner's shoulders? He liked being in control of himself. But the success of the mission was vital so he would have to put up with it.

Kisame was secretly glad that Itachi was being so compliant. As adorable as Itachi was as a small child, the swordsman knew that the sooner they found a cure, the better. As they were, Itachi, Deidara and Hidan could easily get killed on a mission.

"Kisame, we should stop for tonight," Itachi called, looking at the sky. It was getting dark. Kisame nodded and veered off the path and began to search for an inn. They found one within an hour and the shark ninja lifted Itachi off his shoulders. The raven wobbled a little, getting used to walking after so long of sitting on his partner's shoulders.

Kisame held Itachi's hand as they walked in. A kindly looking old lady was seated behind the reception desk. She looked up and smiled at the two, her eyes twinkling when she saw Itachi.

"Hello dears, how can I help you?" she asked politely. Kisame flashed a friendly grin.

"Room for two please," he replied. The woman grabbed a room key and motioned for them to follow.

"This way," she ordered. The ninja followed and went into their room. The lady smiled at them.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call," she said. Itachi smiled at her and she giggled a little.

"Such a cute child," she stated, looking to Kisame, "You must be so proud."

With that, she closed the door. Kisame burst out laughing at Itachi's expression.

"Oh yes, Itachi-Chan!" Kisame chortled, "I'm so proud of you!"

The Uchiha huffed and stalked over to his bed. He flopped onto the bed and curled up into a ball. Kisame followed his lead and settled into the other bed, stilling snickering. As the light went out, Itachi glared over at the shark man.

"Shut up Kisame."

* * *

"Kakuzu, I'm tired."

"I don't care."

"Kakuzu, I'm fucking tired!"

"And I said, I don't fucking care!"

"Fuck you!"

"Hidan shut up!"

The Immortal Duo was feeling under pressure on this mission. Hidan was practically asleep on his feet and Kakuzu was trying very hard to block him out. They had been travelling for a full day and well into the night. Nothing new for either of them but Hidan had never undertaken this as a four year old.

The Jashinist was stumbling a little as they walked along the dirt track. Kakuzu stopped and turned around. Hidan came to a stop and looked up with a sleepy glare. Kakuzu sighed heavily.

"Are you really that tired?" he asked. Hidan nodded and yawned for emphasis. The stitched ninja rolled his eyes and picked the silver haired child up. Hidan squirmed around.

"What the fuck Kakuzu?" he demanded. Kakuzu smirked and threw his partner over his shoulder.

"If you're tired, I will just have to carry your sorry ass," Kakuzu teased. Hidan growled but submitted with a huff.

"Fine but if you don't find us a fucking hotel, I'm gonna kick your fucking ass," Hidan grumbled. Kakuzu chuckled and kept walking. Hidan began to hum as he watched the scenery go by. His eyes narrowed when he saw something dark flitting through the trees.

"Kakuzu," he murmured. The stitched ninja nodded.

"I know," he muttered. Setting the Jashinist down, they kept walking, while Hidan's hand grasped a kunai below the sleeve of his new, smaller cloak. For the first time in a very long time, he felt nervous about battling someone. Without his scythe he felt very vulnerable.

Kakuzu kept his guard up as the enemy made a move. Two attacked from the left, the other two from the right. Kakuzu shot his arms at the attackers from the right. He crushed the throat of one of them but the other hit a pressure point causing his arm to relax. He pulled it back into place and flitted behind the ninja, slashing his throat with a kunai.

Hidan used his expert taijustu moves to fight his two targets. He attacked with his kunai and cut one of them across the face, catching his eye. The man screamed and fell back a little. Hidan smirked.

"That's right fuckers!" he yelled triumphantly, "You don't mess with me!"

He raced forward and attacked the fallen enemy and slammed his kunai through the ninja's windpipe. Turning to attack the other enemy, he drew a second kunai and slashed at him. Making a small cut, he back flipped and licked the red substance off the blade. His skin turned black and white and he stabbed his hand. Crying out as he did so.

Kakuzu watched his partner with interest for once. He was intrigued to see how Hidan's ritual would work with him being a small child. So far everything was normal, until the younger stabbed his hand. The cry he gave sounded more pained than usual.

Hidan felt tears prick his eyes as he drew his symbol in his blood. He was almost afraid to hurt himself. That must have been what Itachi was talking about when he had mentioned deterioration of their adult minds.

Steeling himself for a moment, he realised, the only way to kill his opponent was to finish the ritual. He steadied his breathing and plunged the knife into his heart. His sacrifice's pain filled screams mingled with his own as he fell to his knees.

Kakuzu raced towards the small sobbing form and knelt beside his partner. He gently pulled the blade out and shook Hidan's shoulder. Tears were streaming down the younger's cheeks. Kakuzu sighed and sewed up the wound and lifted Hidan up. The Jashinist clung to him and buried his face in the stitched ninja's chest.

"Calm down Hidan," Kakuzu murmured, "it's okay. I think you should stop using that jutsu for a while."

Hidan hiccupped.

"B-but J-Jashin-sama will g-g-get mad," he whimpered. Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his back.

"I'm sure he'll understand," He muttered. Hidan nodded a little.

"Okay Kakuzu," he whispered.

* * *

**_So this chapter examined how the jutsu is beginning to take a fuller effect until the later chapters when the really fun stuff begins._**

**_I'll post more tomorrow. R&R guys. These chapters are supposed to be proofread so if you spot mistakes, let me know kay?_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Here's the next chapter.**_

* * *

The forest clearing was silent and serene. A gentle breeze rustled through the deep canopies of green which shielded the forest floor from the setting sun, with the deep orange sky blocked from view. Small creatures could be heard scuttling in the undergrowth and birds were singing, hidden in the treetops.

Sasori sighed and leaned against the tree he was standing at. The informant they had been sent to meet was late, very late; too late to be polite in fact. The puppet master was tapping his foot in agitation as he glared straight ahead of himself. Deidara had fallen asleep at the foot of the tree and was curled up in a little ball; his cloak being used as a blanket.

Sasori glanced down at the blonde and sighed again. He hadn't been unbearable on this mission but the red head wasn't looking forward to when Deidara began to lose his adult mind. Not that he had been much of an adult to begin with.

The only good thing about his current status was he got sleepy very quickly and gave Sasori some peace. At the thought, a small smirk passed his lips.

The relaxed atmosphere was broken as the sound of twigs snapping a few metres ahead told the red head that they had company. He nudged his partner with his foot.

"Brat get up," he grunted. Deidara whined a little but heard his Danna's tone. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, stood up and with a big yawn, stretched out his small frame. He stared around for a while before grabbing his cloak and putting it on.

"What's wrong Danna un?" he asked quietly. Sasori didn't reply but simply stared ahead towards a young man who padded his way through the trees. He was in his late twenties, with shoulder length brown hair and was wearing the standard Chuunin jacket and ninja gear. He smirked a little at Deidara.

"You're late!" Sasori growled, irritation, boredom and danger all rolled into his tone. The informant's smirk quickly vanished and he pulled out two scrolls.

"My apologies, Sasori-sama," he said quickly, "I couldn't get away on time without raising suspicion."

"Whatever just give us what we want," The puppet master snapped. The informant held out the two scrolls and Deidara stepped forward to take them. An amused smirk crossed the informant's face again.

"A child?" he queried, "Get 'em while they're young 'ey Sasori-sama?"

The male smirked down at Deidara.

"So how'd a little shit like you get into Akatsuki?" he asked, teasingly. The blonde glared.

"None of your fucking business un!" he snapped. The informant snickered at his reply.

"Whatever little girl, just wanted to know what S-Class ninja would want with a runt like you."

Deidara hissed and moved his hand towards his clay pouch. Sasori noticed and smirked.

"Brat, not now," he warned. The blonde huffed and snatched the two scrolls away, sneaking a little surprise out of his sleeve and onto the ground at the informant's feet. He stalked back towards the puppet master, who took the scrolls.

"One scroll contains all the information on age altering jutsus that Kusa is currently knowledgeable on," he explained, "The second is full of names and locations of possible people, clans and villages who have ever used, developed or gained knowledge of such jutsu. As you requested."

Sasori's brown pools scanned the content. He closed the scrolls, seeming satisfied. He nodded at the contact and turned on his heel, swiftly followed by Deidara. The other male scowled.

"Oi what about my payment?" he demanded. Sasori smirked and stopped.

"Brat."

The blonde raised his hands with a crazed grin on his face. He turned to the angry contact.

"Good, thought you almost forgo-"

"KATSU!"

A mini explosion erupted in the clearing, taking out the informant. Deidara giggled a little and smiled at Sasori.

"That was fun un," he cheered. The puppet master smirked and nodded.

"Of course, but more importantly, we don't have to pay him and I still have another three spies in the labs," he stated in a somewhat lazy manner. He looked down at the blonde who was still smiling widely at the bloody mess in the clearing.

"Come on brat, let's go home."

"Right, sounds good un!"

* * *

Itachi couldn't help but fidget as he sat opposite Kisame in the small café, they were eating breakfast in. It was a clean friendly atmosphere, with a low buzz of conversation in the background. Kisame noticed his partner looking nervous and grinned.

"Something wrong Itachi-Chan?" he asked, sipping his coffee. The raven shook his head quickly.

"I'm fine," he murmured. The shark ninja shrugged.

"If you say so," he muttered, "We should leave soon."

Itachi nodded and hopped from his chair as Kisame paid the bill. They stepped outside into the ever constant sunshine of Fire Country and began to head towards their destination. Kisame was becoming increasingly bored as they walked. They weren't in a hurry at the moment but he wanted a good battle or something to keep him entertained. However, he didn't want to risk Itachi's wellbeing. The Uchiha could probably still take care of himself but Kisame still worried.

"Kisame?"

The swordsman was pulled from his thoughts by the small voice. He grinned down at his partner.

"Yeah?"

Itachi's cheeks became dusted with a light tinge of pink.

"Um, can you carry me?" he asked quietly, "We should get there as quick as possible."

Kisame smirked and nodded. He lifted the little Uchiha up and hoisted him on his shoulders. Itachi wrapped his arms around the taller male's neck and sighed, nuzzling the shark man's hair for a little comfort. His stomach was wrapping up in knots just thinking about Konoha.

Kisame wasted no time in leaping into the trees and taking off at full speed towards the village. They travelled in silence, not feeling the need to talk until their mission officially began.

When they were close to the village, Kisame leapt down to the ground and set Itachi on his own feet. The younger looked around and sighed, stretching a little.

"We can use a henge to get into the village," Kisame stated, adjusting Samehada on his back. Itachi nodded and together, they performed the handsigns. In a puff of smoke, they both appeared completely unrecognisable.

Kisame was now an inch or two shorter, with long brown hair tied in a ponytail and normal tanned skin. His clothes were civilian and Samehada had changed into a large travel pack. Itachi was the same and he looked like a four year old version of Kisame's current appearance, except for his hair which was a shade lighter and cut short. He two wore civilian clothing.

They smirked a little at each other and proceeded towards the village gates. Kisame took to holding Itachi's hand as they headed in. No one gave them a second glance; who would suspect a regular looking man and his son walking into the busy village?

"This is too easy," Kisame murmured, with a low chuckle. Itachi nodded and flickered his eyes around a little. It was almost too easy for his liking. They headed towards the Intelligence Division; taking more touristy routes and stopping every now and then to look at things. They had plenty of time so there was no need to hurry. As long as their chakra was hidden and henge stayed up, they would pass through completely unnoticed; like ghosts.

"There's the building," Itachi stated, pointing at the sign. Kisame smirked and they walked into an alleyway. There were ninja guarding the entrances as well as people entering and leaving the building. Breaking in would be the difficult part. Kisame looked over to the west to see the sun nearly setting.

"We could wait until night, when most of the people leave," he suggested. Itachi nodded, his gaze still fixed on the building, searching for any weak points. He smirked when he saw several skylights.

"If my memory serves correct, the vaults where they keep files on all the jutsu, should be in the west wing, top floor," he murmured, "We can wait until dark and get into the building by those skylights. If we move behind the building, we could get in undetected, since it appears that there are only guards at the front of the building."

Kisame shrugged and nodded.

"If that works then fine," he muttered, "It's almost dark, where should we stay until then?"

Itachi looked around and grimaced.

"We can't stay here," he replied, "Let's look around some more and then move in."

Kisame smirked at the rather talkative Uchiha. It made a nice change not having to translate grunts. He followed the little one and together, they headed towards their target.

* * *

Hidan was being very quiet. He was currently resting with his head against Kakuzu's chest as he was carried towards an inn. The two hadn't spoken much since the battle; Hidan because he was ashamed of himself for losing face and Kakuzu because he felt nothing needed to be said.

The miser headed into a small inn and walked over to the counter. A young girl looked up and gave him a rather startled expression.

"C-can I help you s-sir?" she asked nervously. Kakuzu shifted Hidan's weight a little and answered.

"Room for two please." The girl nodded and quickly looked through her book.

"Certainly, room 21," she said quickly, giving him the key, before looking down at Hidan, "Is he alright?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"Yeah just shaken," he muttered. Hidan hid his face in the stitched ninja's cloak. The girl bit her lip but nodded and showed them where to go. Kakuzu reached the door and opened it up. Hidan took a glance around the room.

It was quite nice, clean, with two beds and a bathroom. He felt Kakuzu set him down and he stumbled over to the bed. Reaching it he flopped down and sighed.

"You're never this quiet," Kakuzu remarked. Hidan turned his magenta eyes to glare at his partner.

"I was praying," He muttered, "If I can't make regular sacrifices, Jashin-sama will think I'm slacking, and then he'll get pissed."

Kakuzu shrugged.

"Under the circumstances I'd say you're safe," he stated lazily, "Surely your god would understand."

Hidan shrugged and curled up in a ball on the bed.

"This has never happened before," he mumbled, "I've never been in a state where I couldn't make sacrifices. This fucking sucks!"

Kakuzu shrugged and sat down on his own bed. He watched the younger for a while as he lay about and fiddled with his pendant while staring into nothing. He sighed and shrugged off his cloak and shoes.

"You should have a bath," he stated, glaring at the state of Hidan's cloak, "If you ruin those bed sheets we might get charged for it."

Hidan smirked and began to roll off his bed and landing on his feet on the floor. He kicked off his shoes and threw his cloak down before waltzing into the bathroom and shutting the door. Kakuzu scowled as he walked over to pick up Hidan's cloak ad shoes. He set the shoes next to his own and smirked at the huge difference in size. He walked across the room and hung up the small cloak just as a stream of curses came from the bathroom.

"Kakuzu, I can't reach the fucking shower buttons!" Hidan whined. Kakuzu couldn't help but let a few snickers out. He walked over to the bathroom door.

"What do you want me to do?" he queried, a teasing hint in his voice. Hidan growled.

"Fucking help a guy out will ya?" The Jashinist shouted. Kakuzu sighed and opened the door to see Hidan glaring at the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Kakuzu sighed and walked over to the bath.

"You can have a bath," he muttered, "You can reach those taps right?"

Hidan sat himself down on the toilet lid and crossed his arms, a pout on full. Kakuzu sighed and ran a bath for his young partner. Hidan watched him, a small question popping into his mind.

"Why do you wear a mask all the time?" he asked. Kakuzu glanced at the Jashinist, surprise evident in his expression. He simply shrugged.

"It intimidates people," he replied. Hidan frowned.

"You're lying," he grumbled, "You always wear it, even at the base, when there's no point."

Kakuzu sighed. For an idiot, Hidan was surprisingly perceptive, especially with people.

"I just made a habit of it to hide myself," he murmured, "Not many would have a face like mine, and breaking out of prison meant I had to hide my identity. It's now just a part of me."

Hidan narrowed his eyes. It wasn't the whole truth, but he wouldn't bother pressing anymore. The bath was run and Kakuzu stood to leave. Hidan swallowed a little and forced out the phrase he never thought he would say in his whole immortal life.

"Thank you Kakuzu."

The bounty hunter stopped and looked back over his shoulder. Hidan still sat there, fiddling with his pendant, cheeks a rosy pink. A small smile crept onto Kakuzu's face.

"No problem. Now hurry up, we'll leave early and find the lair tomorrow morning."

Hidan nodded and Kakuzu closed the door. Hidan ditched the towel and hopped into the warm water. He sighed and lay back, with a small grin. Kakuzu wasn't that much of a bastard.

* * *

**_The next few chapter will be up tomorrow. R&R guys._**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter seven, in which Orochimaru makes a guest appearance. He is OOC to all hell for the sake of humour...all you snake lovers out there, I love him too but it's in the story so kill Rose and not me! Who is also very happy to hear that her stories are being so well recieved after being down for several months (again I'm SORRY!)**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

It was very late by the time the artists got close to base. The sky was dark and angry with thunder rumbling in the distance. Deidara pressed his small form against Sasori's back as they walked the last mile towards the hidden entrance. He didn't know why but the thunder scared him a little. Normally he loved storms; the lightning was striking and fleeting, art. But now the loud crashing sound made him upset.

Sasori noticed the change as well. He felt the blonde's trembling form cling to him as the storm brewed overhead. He sighed when he heard a small whimper after a particularly loud thunder clap. Stopping, he shifted his grip on Deidara, so that he was now holding the blonde against his chest. His partner smiled weakly and buried his face in the crook between Sasori's shoulder and neck.

"What's wrong with you?" the puppet asked. Deidara looked up shyly.

"I-I don't know un," he mumbled, a blush painting his cheeks. He was grateful of the darkness which hid his red face. "The thunder is scary yeah."

Sasori stared for a moment at his brat. Scared of thunder…_Deidara _was scared of thunder. This jutsu was giving Sasori a headache!

"Fine brat," he muttered, in an almost defeated tone, "Don't worry, we'll be home soon. The thunder can't hurt you."

Deidara sighed and nodded, resting his forehead against Sasori's shoulder. They walked back in silence.

Reaching the concealed door, Sasori realised Deidara had fallen asleep. He almost smiled as he stepped over the threshold. Konan was there to greet them. She hurried over to them, quickly taking Deidara from his slightly disgruntled partner.

"Is he alright? Was the mission successful?" she asked urgently. Sasori smirked.

"The brat's fine, I am too thanks for asking," he drawled, "And the mission went very well. But we killed the informant."

"Why?" she asked curiously. Sasori snickered.

"The asshole was late by an hour and a half and then he insulted Deidara," he explained, "Naturally with the kid being such a hothead, the idiot had sealed his on death."

Konan chuckled heartily and stroked the blonde's hair.

"He's a good boy," she murmured.

"LIKE HELL HE IS!"

The three turned around slowly to see a very pissed off Leader. He was covered in soot and dirt from cleaning what used to be his office. His ringed eyes were shooting laser beams at the sleeping bomber. Konan cringed and turned quickly to Sasori.

"RUN!"

* * *

The two criminals watched as the last few people left the building. Itachi looked all around the building to make sure he knew the guard patterns off by heart. Kisame kept a lookout over the surrounding rooftops as the time of their infiltration drew nearer.

"We should be okay now," Itachi whispered. Kisame smirked and made sure Samehada was secure for the umpteenth time as they prepared to leave their hiding place and sneak into the building. The window they had to get in unseen was very small.

They flitted towards the building, leapt up onto the roof and slipped in through the skylight. Perfect.

"Right Itachi-Chan, lead the way," Kisame murmured, with a smirk. Itachi glared at him for a moment.

"Don't patronize me," he grumbled. Kisame snickered and followed the Uchiha, who had his arms crossed in a huff. They snuck through the corridors until they stopped outside a door. It was large and heavy with bolts and seals on it.

"Give me a few minutes," Itachi murmured, "I can get rid of these."

He began to work on the bolts and seals, picking the locks on the padlocks and forming intricate hand signs to disarm the explosive seals. This was all fine until about halfway up the door. Itachi stopped and looked up, his face turning into a dark scowl. He turned to Kisame expectantly. The swordsman looked from the door to his partner and burst into a fit of quiet laughter. Itachi growled.

"Don't laugh at me or I'll Sharingan you!" he snapped, "Help me get rid of these."

Kisame couldn't stop his laughter but he picked up the raven and set him on his shoulders. Itachi smirked triumphantly and continued to work on the door. Kisame tried to stifle his laughter. When a chuckle escaped, Itachi saw fit to smack his head.

Once the door was cleared, they stepped inside. Itachi jumped from Kisame's shoulders and looked around the room.

It was like a large library, with tall ceilings. Shelves lined every wall and columns of books, scrolls and texts full of jutsu and information on everything from clans, to villages, to people both civilian and ninja alike was in this room. With luck, Itachi and Kisame would have time to look through as much as possible.

"Right, we should start looking," Kisame muttered. Itachi nodded and together, they delved into the room, burying their noses in every scrap of information they could find, even remotely related to age altering. After almost all of the night, Kisame growled irritably.

"Damn it," he groaned, "All night and the most we've found is a couple of jutsu to make your skin look younger! Who the hell develops jutsu like that? We're ninjas not beauticians!"

Itachi shrugged but never took his eyes off his current scroll. He was fairly confident that he had found something. It was a complete analysis of a unique jutsu from a clan which was now thought to be completely gone. It was apparently able to cause the victim to go back through a personal time line and become reverted back to a young age.

"Kisame, I think I found what we need," he called, excitement leaking into his voice. He couldn't help it! This was important. Kisame grinned at him.

"Excellent Itachi-Chan!" he exclaimed, "No let's get out of here, I'm bored as hell." Itachi smiled and tucked the scroll inside his cloak. They were walking down one of the many corridors of the building when they came face to face with Anbu. They stopped and blinked a little.

"Kisame Hoshigaki and… ummm…you!" The leader shouted, "You are both under arrest!"

Itachi pouted and crossed his arms hotly.

"Excuse me?" he snapped, "You don't know me? I'm insulted!"

Kisame sweat dropped and grabbed Itachi's collar.

"Come on Itachi-Chan, you can kill them later," Kisame called, sweetly. Itachi growled and struggled in his partner's grip.

"Let me go Kisame! I'm gonna Sharingan their asses! They should know an Uchiha when they see one!" He shrieked. Kisame ignored him and threw the raven over his shoulder. They were chased out of the village by the Anbu who didn't know whether to fear the pair or laugh their asses of. Of course they chose to be professional and snickered behind their animal masks.

That's why everyone wants to be Anbu! The uniform definitely has its perks!

* * *

"You can fucking forget all about this," Hidan growled, "Fuck this shit!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Hidan shut up and get your ass in here," he snapped at his younger partner. Hidan wrinkled his nose in disgust. They had to go into the lair of a freaky snake man who had a reputation for being a pervert. He gave Kakuzu the puppy eyes.

"C'mon Kuzu, if I go in there, he's gonna fucking sniff me out or something!" he whined, "I'm an adorable little boy! I'm practically oozing with cuteness!"

Kakuzu face palmed.

"Look you little shit! We need to get this information now! The longer we wait, the longer you stay an 'adorable little boy' as you put it."

Hidan sighed and crossed his arms as he stomped after Kakuzu. They crept through the lair, senses on full alert. They searched every room they came across. Most were empty. They searched top to bottom with little success. They were about to call it quits when a very unwanted presence arrived.

"What can I do for you Akatsssuki?" snickered the snake Sannin. Hidan's eyes widened and he turned slowly to the doorway.

"Oh fuck!" he muttered. Kakuzu glared at Orochimaru, who was licking his lips with his freaky tongue. Hidan shuddered with repulsion. He edged closer to his partner. The pale man snickered.

"Whatsss wrong my dear boy?" he asked, "You're a cute one!" Hidan growled and turned on Kakuzu.

"I fucking told you!" He cried indignantly, "I fucking said, don't make me go in there! That's where the pedo lurks but fucking no! You assholes never listen to me!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"You decide to throw a bitch fit now?" he sighed, turning his attention to Orochimaru, "Get out of our way or we kill you."

The Sannin chuckled and stepped into the room.

"And what makesss you think I would do that?" he queried. Kakuzu growled and shot tentacles at him. He leapt out of the way and raced towards Hidan. The Jashinist was ready for this and slashed at the snake man with a kunai. He managed to get a small scratch but it was useless to him now without his jutsu.

Kakuzu flitted behind Hidan and scooped him up as Orochimaru flew in for another attack. They raced from the room and down the corridors. Hidan looked over his partners' shoulder and his eyes widened.

"Kakuzu move your old ass he's catching up!" he screamed. Kakuzu scowled and turned a corner as Orochimaru crashed into the wall. They could see light at the end of the corridor and Hidan yelled in triumph.

"You aren't going anywhere!" The Sannin shrieked.

"Fuck off bitch!" Hidan screamed, "I'm too cute for you!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and smacked the kid. Hidan yelped and clutched his head.

"The fuck?" he growled. Kakuzu shrugged.

"It seemed appropriate, now stop taunting the paedophile!" he retorted. They ran as fast as Kakuzu's legs could carry them. Orochimaru didn't want to give up.

"Don't leave me cutie," he wailed, "You would be perfect for my collection!"

"Collection?!"

"Kakuzu go faster! Make him leave me alone!"

"Working on it!"

* * *

"I…think…we lost him," Konan panted, still clutching Deidara to her chest. Sasori poked his head out from behind the armchair. No sign of Pein.

"Yeah I think we're safe," he muttered. Konan sighed with relief and fell against the wall. Deidara stirred a little.

"Are we home yet?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. Sasori and Konan blinked.

"You slept through all of that?!"

Deidara stared at them with confusion. He looked around the room and cocked his head.

"Why are we hiding un?"

Sasori and Konan shared a look.

"Um…Pein is trying to kill you," Konan muttered. Deidara's eyes widened, tears glistening in his blue orbs.

"K-kill me un?" he murmured, "B-But why yeah?"

Sasori glared at the blue haired woman.

"Look now you made him cry!"

"Like hell I did!"

The two ninja were too busy bickering to notice the powerful, deadly aura descending on them. Deidara noticed however and looked up, tears falling down his face as he stared up at a very angry Pein, who's eyes softened at the sight of the upset bomber.

"Deidara," he murmured, "Why are you crying?"

The blonde hiccupped and reached out to the leader, who looked very surprised.

"K-Konan-san said you wanted to k-ki-ll me un," he stammered. The pierced leader lifted the bomber up, unnoticed by Konan and Sasori who were still squabbling. He sighed and patted the child's back.

"Don't worry," Pein muttered, "Just fix my office and I will let you live."

"R-really un?" Deidara smiled shyly at the leader.

"You will be asking Kakuzu for the money of course."

"…"

"…"

"Damn un."

* * *

**_Why is everyone running in this chapter? O_O Running is horrible..._**

**_Until next time, R&R guys!_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 is finally here! Yeah school was rough this week, and I had to get bloods taken at the doctors...they took loads! It felt wierd too. **_

_**Anyway, our little chibi brats are becoming more affected by the jutsu, so expect much OOCness.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Sasori was having a lovely, quiet morning. He had decided to let Deidara sleep, since that was all his young partner seemed to do at the moment. Blowing on his cup of coffee to cool it, he relished the peace that was so rare in the Akatsuki base.

Pein was also having a nice morning. He was up to date on paperwork, his office was almost back to the way it was and it there were no loud Akatsuki members in sight.

The two males were seated at the kitchen table, drinking coffee in comfortable silence along with Konan. She was very cheerful as she had gotten one of her 'babies' back. After running for their lives from Pein, having a shouting match with Sasori and being rescued from the Leader by Deidara's waterworks, Konan had managed to pull the blonde from his Danna's side and got to be motherly. She gave him a bath, to which he protested; she dressed him in cute, fluffy Akatsuki pyjamas; he protested again and then she played with him until he got tired. Sasori was annoyed enough with the blunette and spoiled her fun by taking the sleepy bomber away.

Speaking of sleepy bombers, the puppet master decided to go and waken his up for breakfast. He bid farewell and walked down the halls towards their room. He slipped inside and closed the door gently. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness and walked over to the sleeping lump. He reached his hand out to shake the blonde awake. A whimper caused him to stop. His brown orbs narrowed as he watched Deidara quiver.

"N-no un," he mumbled, "P-please…d-don't..."

The red head sat down next to the child and set a hand on his shoulder. Deidara flinched from the contact and started whimpering louder.

"No…K-Kaa-san un," he murmured. Sasori bit his lips when he saw tears streaming down the artist's face. The puppet gently placed his hands on the child's shoulders and shook.

"Deidara," he murmured, "Wake up brat."

The blue orbs snapped open but still swam with tears. He began to sob and launched at his partner. Sasori was shocked but wrapped his arms around the younger. Deidara trembled as he buried his tearstained face in Sasori's cloak.

"Deidara, what's wrong?" he asked, his tone gentle yet firm. The blonde shook his head and curled his small hands into fists against Sasori's chest. The puppet master just sighed and rubbed small circles in the child's back. This gesture seemed to calm his brat down enough to speak.

"D-Danna, please don't t-tell anyone a-about th-this un," he mumbled, "I don't want t-to cause trouble yeah."

Sasori smirked and shook his head as he petted the golden locks.

"You wouldn't cause trouble brat," he replied quietly, "You, Hidan and Itachi are top priority at the moment."

Deidara scowled. Yes, they were right now but only because they posed as the weak points of Akatsuki, possible pawns or bargaining chips in a larger plan against the organisation. He wanted to be relevant when he wasn't in life threatening danger, just to be relevant as a person. These thoughts brought more tears to his eyes as he rested his head against Sasori's chest. He was pulled from his negative thoughts by his partner.

"C'mon let's go get breakfast after we clean you up a bit," he murmured, "Konan will kick my ass if she thinks I made you cry."

This issued a little giggle from the blonde and Sasori felt reassured. Swinging the blonde into his arms, he carried him into the bathroom and set him on the counter. He got a damp cloth and carefully cleaned Deidara's face. He kept pulling away or making faces at the puppet master who just smirked or poked him on the forehead.

Once the bathroom trip was done, Sasori carried the blonde to the kitchen in his pyjamas, while he clung to the puppet and poked him in the forehead, giggling all the way. Naturally Konan squealed, making Deidara jump violently, the nightmare still fresh in his mind. He buried his face in Sasori's neck and trembled a little.

"Calm down Deidara," he murmured, "You're okay. Nothing will hurt you."

"O-okay Danna un," he squeaked. Konan looked startled, her amber eyes full of concern.

'Nightmare' Sasori mouthed to her. She nodded and walked over to the stove to make the blonde some breakfast.

"So Dei-Chan, what would you like for breakfast?" she asked brightly, "Eggs? Pancakes? Cereal? Waffles?"

Deidara looked thoughtful, considering his desired food as Sasori set him on a chair at the table.

"Waffles un!" he exclaimed. The blue haired woman smiled and set about making waffles. As she worked and Sasori and Pein sat quietly with Deidara who was humming as he swung his legs, the door burst open.

"The triumphant return!" called Kisame, his tone chipper and joking. Everyone sighed but allowed the blue man his happiness. It was better than a grouchy Kisame. Of course no one was expecting Itachi to join in.

"That's right! We found something that may help us return to normal!" he exclaimed, "Well I found it, Kisame just caused a nuisance the whole time!"

The Sharkman huffed and looked down at the raven, who was grinning devilishly.

"Itachi-Chan, I helped a lot actually!" he argued, "You wouldn't have been able to get those locks undone if I hadn't helped you reach! And we wouldn't have escaped from the Anbu alive because you wanted to 'Sharingan their asses' as you put it!"

There was a stunned silence as they watched Itachi Uchiha, renowned for his stoic and mature aura that made the fangirls swoon, argue about a mission in a childish manner with Kisame, who was equally childish.

"I did help!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah huh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah huh!"

"Nu-"

"Stop arguing!"

They stopped their argument to look up at an irritated Leader. He was glaring at the two with a deadly aura. The silent death threats emitting from Pein were enough to send Kisame and Itachi to the kitchen table in silence. Itachi sat down next to Deidara and Kisame sat beside Sasori. Deidara cocked his head at the Uchiha.

"What did you find un?" he asked curiously. Itachi smirked and pulled out a scroll. Pein swiftly took it, earning a pout from the little raven. He ignored the pierced man and turned his full attention back to Deidara.

"We found information on a clan, thought to have been wiped out," he explained, "They were apparently able to use a jutsu that reversed the age and mind of a person back to an earlier age."

Deidara looked excited and bounced up and down in his chair.

"That sounds like a really good lead un!" he beamed, "Good job Itachi yeah!"

The Uchiha grinned proudly and nodded in the exuberant blonde's direction. This exchange did not go by unnoticed by the other four who couldn't help but stare. Deidara hated Itachi with a passion for taking his freedom by forcing him to join the Akatsuki and the raven had never bothered to make amends, although no one ever knew why. It would have saved him some headaches from the hot headed nineteen year old.

"Okay guys waffles are ready," Konan sang, placing plates piled high with waffles in front of Deidara, Itachi and Kisame. The three dug in and fell silent. The room fell back into a comfortable atmosphere with only the scraping of silverware against plates and small talk filling the air.

BANG!

"Oi we're home fuckers!"

"We are so happy to hear," Pein muttered, earning a smack over the head from Konan. She beamed and rushed towards the Immortal Duo sweeping Hidan into a hug. The Jashinist didn't seem to mind at all as he hugged back. Kakuzu walked past the pair and took a seat at the table. He grabbed the coffee pot and didn't speak until he had downed a whole cup of coffee and poured a second.

"Rough night?" Sasori asked, smirking. The miser scowled, clutching his coffee mug and looked towards Pein.

"The mission failed, we didn't find anything and Hidan almost got kidnapped by that freakish snake," he growled, "I had to run for two days straight before Hidan let me stop."

"Hidan nearly got kidnapped?!" Konan exclaimed, "How could you let something like that happen to one of _my_ babies?"

"Your babies?" everyone queried. The kunoichi became flustered and ignored them, more content on getting waffles for the last of her _babies_. Once everything had died down, Pein retreated to his new temporary office to study the new information his subordinates had brought back.

With some luck, they would get some new leads and be one step closer to fixing this mess.

* * *

**_I'll upload a couple more chapters tomorrow but I'm gonna be fitting it in around coursework, so I can't promise very many. It all depends on if I get a lot of work done._**

**_Anyway, R&R, drop me some tips or if you spot grammatical errors, let me know :)_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9 for you folks! Thank you everyone who has reviewef, favourited and followed so far. There is still lots more to come.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

Pein had been cooped up in his office for the best part of a day and a half, examining the information that his subordinates found on their missions. It was very good Intel and all that was left was to come up with a good strategy to get the jutsu lifted from the three youngest members. He set down his current scroll and leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh. He was rather tired now and just wanted to sleep. A knock on the office door interrupted his planned snooze.

"Pein, you've been in here for a while," Konan called, poking her head through the door, "Come and eat with us. Kisame cooked steaks."

The pierced leader nodded and followed. He was starving after all. And a great leader needs to have a full stomach to plot world domination! Plus Kisame was a bad ass chef; it would be a shame to let his great cooking go to waste!

With the merry thoughts of flame grilled steak on his mind, he marched into the kitchen and was about to take his seat.

He blinked. And again. And again.

Itachi was lounging in _his _chair at the head of the table, a devilish grin on his cute round cheeks as he tossed a ball of clay back and forth between Deidara and Hidan who were seated on the left and right sides of the table. Sasori and Kakuzu were seated next to their respective partners, Kisame was serving up dinner onto the many plates and Konan and Tobi were fawning over the kids. Zetsu was sitting arguing to himself over which of the three he would eat first. The current order was Itachi for starter, Hidan for main course and Deidara for dessert, with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top.

Pein's eyebrow twitched.

"Itachi, get out of my chair," he said, voice shaking from the strain of trying to keep calm. The Uchiha grinned up at the leader and threw the clay to Deidara who started moulding.

"But I like this seat, its _sooo_ comfy," Itachi smirked. Pein growled and tried again.

"Itachi, get out of that chair now!" he snapped. The raven glanced in Deidara's direction. The little blonde was still moulding. He returned his gaze, challengingly to Pein.

"No."

"Itachi, move now!"

"No."

Pein glared daggers at the smirking child and the bomber.

"Deidara, if you do anything, I won't hesitate to kill you," he hissed, "And it will be slow and painful."

The blonde gulped and left the half-finished butterfly on the table. The pierced leader proceeded to grab Itachi by the collar and carried him to the other end of the table. The Uchiha protested and threatened the Leader as he was dumped in a chair. Everyone else either snickered, rolled their eyes or watched with slight worry.

Pein took his seat at the head of the table as Kisame dished out their meal.

"It has come to my attention that there is a severe lack of discipline in this organisation," he said sternly, glaring at the Akatsuki members, especially Itachi, Deidara and Hidan, "Because of this, I think some actions need to be taken."

"W-what kind of actions un?" Deidara mumbled, shrinking into Sasori's side. Pein smirked and cut up his steak, tasting the wonderful flavour of the meat before replying.

"Oh just some punishment for the disrespect I have received recently," he stated nonchalantly, "Especially you two Itachi, Deidara."

They gulped simultaneously and their partners visibly stiffened.

"We shall discuss this after dinner," Pein continued.

Everyone ate mostly in silence. Deidara and Itachi wondered what their punishment would be but while Itachi couldn't help but enjoy an opportunity to defy Pein, Deidara felt fear. He hadn't always been a bad ass terrorist bomber. Once upon a time, every single one of the Akatsuki had been a frightened kid.

After the meal, Pein ordered Itachi, Hidan and Deidara out of the room while he told their partners of his punishment.

"Put them in isolation?" Sasori queried, "Is that wise right now?"

Pein nodded at the puppet master.

"Yes I think so," he said, "With their minds reverting to their childlike nature; I think it would be best if we make sure they obey us now. If they don't they could get hurt or killed in the future."

Kakuzu, Kisame and Sasori all exchanged looks but shrugged. It would only be for a few days, a week tops and nothing really bad could happen to them inside the base with everyone just a stones throw away.

"I understand Itachi and Deidara's punishment," Kakuzu stated somewhat boredly, "They did blow up your office and Itachi has been a proper little asshole since he came back from that mission. But why Hidan? His behaviour has improved since the jutsu happened. Less swearing and less bloodshed. I've saved a fortune on paint and carpet."

"Hidan is the same as the other two," he stated, "I also want to observe their changes in the way they think and react to some things."

The three ninja nodded and Pein ordered them to lock their partners up in three separate rooms. They nodded and went to find their partners, who were sitting in the living room.

"Right brat," Sasori called, lifting the blonde up. Deidara grinned and nuzzled the puppet master's cheek.

"Hey Danna un," he said happily. Kisame took Itachi's small hand in his own large blue one and walked down the hall with him and Kakuzu motioned for Hidan to follow him, to which the Jashinist complied.

"What's happening Kakuzu?" he asked curiously. The stitched ninja shrugged.

"You are all receiving your punishments," he stated, "Five days in isolation."

Deidara and Itachi looked alarmed and glanced at their partners who nodded. The blonde's lip quivered and he hugged Sasori tightly. Itachi frowned and held Kisame's hand even tighter. Hidan scowled but walked down with Kakuzu in silence.

The three four year olds were walked to their separate rooms at various ends of the base to prevent any means of communication with each other. Sasori walked Deidara into a small simple room. It was bare except for a bed, a desk and chair and a small bathroom. Sasori set the blonde down on the floor and knelt down with him.

"Now brat, you are not leaving this room for five days," he stated, "I will lock the door when I leave and when the five days are up, you will be let out. Understand?"

Deidara sniffled, his blue eyes swimming with tears as he nodded slowly. The puppet master smirked and pulled him into a small hug. The blonde clung to his partner for a moment as Sasori rubbed his back.

"You've done this before," he murmured, "Don't you remember?" Deidara shook his head.

"N-no un," he mumbled, "D-did I s-succeed?" Sasori chuckled.

"Of course you did," he said, letting him go. Deidara gave him a small smile and sat down on the bed. Sasori left the room and locked the door. He was confident that Deidara would be fine.

Kisame walked into a similar room with Itachi, on the opposite side of the base. The Uchiha was being stubbornly quiet and ignoring his partner. Kisame sighed and patted the raven on the head.

"Don't worry Itachi-Chan, it's just for five days," he said with a toothy grin. Itachi scowled and flopped on the bed.

"It's not fair, I was just having fun," he growled, "And now Dei's getting punished because I dragged him into it. It's not fair Kisa!"

The swordsman chuckled.

"Don't worry Itachi, you all did it before," he said matter of factly, "You're all gonna be just fine. Now don't leave the room until I come and get you."

"Fine."

Kakuzu was pleasantly surprised that Hidan was being very compliant with the whole punishment thing. The stitched ninja didn't know whether to jump for joy that he finally got Hidan to shut up or to be worried.

"Hidan are you okay?" he asked, placing a hand on the Jashinist's shoulder. He absently smiled and nodded at his partner.

"Yeah, just fucking thinking," he muttered, "So why does Pein in the ass want us out of the way?"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. He was beginning to like four year old Hidan. He shrugged and they walked into the final small room.

"He just wants to drill discipline into you now, before you all turn into little shits like Itachi," he stated casually. Hidan giggled a little and jumped onto his bed. He grinned a little at Kakuzu.

"See ya later, stitch bitch!" he called as the stitched ninja left. He rolled his eyes as he locked the door. Okay Hidan wasn't that great!

Sasori, Kakuzu and Kisame walked into the meeting room to meet with Konan, Pein, Tobi and Zetsu. It was surprisingly quiet, even with Tobi around. He was depressed since Deidara was strictly off limits to him.

"How are they?" Konan asked quietly. They shrugged.

"Deidara was sad about it."

"Itachi-Chan was grumpy. But still adorable!"

"Hidan was surprisingly okay on the whole."

Pein raised an eyebrow.

"Very well, we shall observe them for the next five days," he said casually, "Now, Sasori and Kisame, I have a mission for you both."

They both exchanged glances and nodded almost reluctantly. They checked over the mission and left to prepare. Kakuzu simply left to count his money.

* * *

It was nearing the end of the second day that Itachi, Hidan and Deidara had been put into isolation. Deidara was curled up on his bed sleeping soundly, Hidan was praying to Jashin and Itachi was practicing throwing kunai.

The sun had just set behind the treeline surrounding the base and outside crickets were chirping. Not far from the base, two shadowy figures stood watching the base. The taller form began to form seals while the other began giggling to herself.

Simultaneously, Deidara jolted awake, Hidan's eyes snapped open from his prayer and Itachi dropped his kunai; a single voice utter softly to them.

'_Come to us little ones…'_

* * *

**_Okay I think it's either nexrt chapter or the chapter after that I start to make some bigger changes. Rose of Doom told me that there were changes she wanted made to the whole story when I reuploaded so I'm just adhereing to her wishes. They aren't massive, just additions of information or tweaks here and there. Until now I've just been fixing grammar and spelling (albeit badly)._**

**_Anyway, R&R guys!_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**I present to thee, Chapter 10! Now the fun begins!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

A mission unrelated to the current dilemma was rather unexpected to Kisame and Sasori. The swordsman was keener on making sure his partner was okay and although he would never openly admit it, Sasori felt the same. They were returning to the base at the end of the third day of their partners' isolation and were determined to get home as fast as possible.

"There it is," Kisame said, a grin spreading across his face. Sasori smirked a little and sped up. They reached the secret entrance and opened the door. Stepping through, the door shut behind them and they hurried down towards Pein's office. They looked around suspiciously.

"Something's not right," Sasori growled. Kisame nodded and they both double timed it to their destination. Inside was an unexpected sight.

Konan was sitting in front of Pein's desk, her appearance rather dishevelled as Pein paced the room, a look of anger and frustration on his face. He looked up and stopped.

"Sasori, Kisame, we have a big problem," he stated. The swordsman and the puppet narrowed their eyes at Pein.

"What problem?" Kisame demanded. Konan's lip quivered as she stood and walked towards them.

"They're gone," she whispered, fighting tears. Kisame and Sasori exchanged worried glances.

"What?"

"Hidan, Itachi and Deidara…_they've been taken._"

* * *

_It was a clear evening as the sun set. Konan was doing paperwork in Pein's office with said ninja when she got a wave of unfamiliar chakra. Her gaze snapped up to Pein who realised just as she did. They rose from their desks and darted out the door and through the halls. It was coming from outside._

"_You check on those three," Pein ordered, bolting out of the base. The blunette nodded and raced down the halls, checking on each child as she went._

_She opened the door to Itachi's room. He looked up and blinked at her, a vacant smile appearing on his face. Konan nodded at him and shut the door running towards the other two. Deidara was sleeping and Hidan was praying. They were okay. Konan sighed with relief and hurried outside to find Pein._

_The pierced ninja was standing at the entrance to the hideout, trying to summon his rain to detect the unwanted presence. The kunoichi stood next to him watching dark and angry looking clouds appear to blanket the night sky._

"_They are still in their rooms," she said quietly, "All safe."_

_Pein nodded as he pushed his chakra into the atmosphere. Nothing happened. He tried again._

"_Damn!" he growled, "Something is blocking my jutsu."_

_Konan frowned at him. This was bad. Someone knew how Pein's jutsu worked and was able to stop it. That was one of the hideout's strongest defences. If the enemy couldn't be detected, the base was more susceptible to surprise attacks._

"_Whoever it is, they are a powerful opponent," Pein declared, scanning the area. Konan, who was feeling very uncomfortable in the unsettling silence made to reply but was cut short by an ear-splitting shriek, a cry of someone's name and an explosion._

_They exchanged startled glances and raced towards the sources of the sounds._

* * *

_Deidara awoke with a start at the sound of a voice._

"_Come to us little ones!"_

_His blue eyes darted around the room, one hand mouth chewing enthusiastically on a lump of clay. Something or someone was near him but he couldn't tell who or what it was._

"_W-who's there un?" he called nervously. He heard a giggle in response._

_Then the lights went out. Panicking, Deidara threw his explosive in a general direction and formed the handsign._

"_Katsu!"_

* * *

_Hidan's eyes snapped open from his prayer at the sound of the voice. He growled when he noticed his window open and grabbed a kunai from his bedside table._

"_I know you're there!" he growled challengingly, "C'mon out fucker!"_

"_Hmmm, the jutsu hasn't affected you as much as the other two," a female voice pondered, "We must test this!"_

_Hidan whipped around, coming face to face with a woman. His eyes widened._

"_Y-you're the bitch who turned us into kids!" he hissed, "You, fix us now!"_

_She smirked and started to form hand signs. Hidan bolted for the door. Locked. He banged his fist against the wood._

"_Kakuzu!" he yelled hopelessly, "Kakuzu help me!"_

_The female laughed cruelly at his desperate attempts of escape and tapped his neck._

"_Nighty night!" she giggled as he fell to the floor, dead to the world._

* * *

_Itachi dropped his kunai and flipped out of reach of the arms that were currently trying to catch him._

_He turned around, eyes locking with a male who was snickering at him, a wicked grin stretching his leathery face. The Uchiha hissed and activated his Sharingan. He smirked when the man looked him in the eyes and froze._

_Caught him._

_A second later for Itachi and seventy two hours later for the male, Itachi released him, blood falling from his eyes. He fell to his knees, closely followed by his enemy._

"_Some jutsu," he growled, "Too bad you used it on someone like me!"_

_Itachi looked up in confusion to see the man stand up and grab the fallen raven roughly around the neck._

_Itachi, now too weak to fight after using the Mangekyo, did the only thing he could now._

_He let a terrible scream rip from his throat as his vision darkened to nothing._

* * *

_Kakuzu appeared at Konan and Pein's side when he heard Hidan call him. Something had happened. Something bad._

_He charged into the room just in time to see a woman wave at them with his partner slung over her shoulder carelessly. She hopped out of the window._

_Kakuzu roared and tore after them. Konan ran off to find Deidara and Pein raced for Itachi._

_Konan kicked the door down to see the room in flames, ash and smoke covering everything. She squinted through the smoke and saw the exact same woman as before, clutching an injured blonde to her chest. She giggled and batted her eyelashes at the blue haired kunoichi and raced out through a hole in the collapsing roof. Konan gave chase through the flames._

_Pein reached Itachi's room just after Konan had ran off after Deidara. He used Shinra Tensei on the door and saw a male darting out the window with Itachi. Pein growled and ran after them._

_The three enemies headed for the exact same spot together where two more figures were standing. They smirked and set the three Akatsuki members down on the ground._

"_Well done babe!" the woman giggled. Her male companion smirked and released the jutsu causing the three kidnappers to melt into the ground. Clones._

_Deidara groaned in pain, clutching his left side. He was pretty sure a few of his ribs were broken and his arm was pretty painful too._

"_Why is that brat still awake?" demanded the man, kicking the blonde who hissed and whimpered in pain. He grabbed the offending ankle and smirked as the man yelped when sharp little teeth sank into his foot. He grabbed the blonde by the hair and brought his hand down on a pressure point. The small body went limp and he dropped Deidara carelessly on the ground._

"_Hiroshi don't do that!" his female companion hissed venomously, lifting the blonde child, "I want them alive!"_

_Hiroshi rolled his eyes and lifted Hidan over one shoulder and Itachi over the other._

"_Whatever, Juunko, let's just go before those ninja get here," he grunted._

_Juunko complied and shifted Deidara in her arms. He didn't even stir._

"_Stop!" Pein yelled, his tone menacing. Juunko giggled._

"_Do anything and I kill this child," she said, sickly sweet, as the glint of a kunai showed up against Deidara's throat in the moonlight. Konan grabbed Pein's arm and shook her head. Making a move now was too risky. Juunko smirked sadistically and followed Hiroshi who had leapt off into the trees. Kakuzu hissed and made to follow but Pein held him back._

"_No Kakuzu," he said sternly, "I will send Zetsu to track them. We will wait for Sasori and Kisame to return."_

_The stitched ninja scowled but followed the leader and his angel back to base._

* * *

Sasori and Kisame stood stock still in shock at Konan's revelation. Their partners had been taken…just like that? Sasori reacted first.

"You let them get taken?!" he demanded, "You didn't even try to get them back?!"

Konan winced at his angry but also distressed tone.

"We did all we could Sasori," she said as calmly as possible, "But If we had made any move to retrieve them, that bitch would have killed Deidara. She had a knife to his throat Sasori! What were we supposed to do?"

"You could have protected them a hell of a lot better," Kisame stated matter of factly, "No one was even watching them."

Pein sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We were waiting for you two to return before we made our next move," he announced, "Zetsu has been tracking them. He sent us an update this morning. They are currently cutting through Fire Country however, from the direction they are going, they could be headed to one of several locations, including Oto, Taki or even Kumo."

Everyone listened closely, the only sound breaking the painful silence being Pein's voice.

"I will send Konan and Sasori to link up with Zetsu, while Kisame and Kakuzu will travel along the border and try to cut them off before they get any farther than the Land of Fire. If that doesn't work, then you can all meet and continue to track them to their destination."

Everyone nodded and immediately left to prepare for the new assignment. Pein also began to gather weapons.

"What are you doing?"

Pein turned to regard the masked ninja who was partially concealed in shadows as he continued to gather supplies.

"I am going to aid my comrades," he replied simply. Madara chuckled rather coldly.

"Your comrades?" he questioned, "Where did this attitude come from? Aren't they just your pawns to gain world peace?"

Pein closed his eyes, a small smile tugging at his mouth.

"A lot has happened," he murmured, "Although I think it will be for the better."

Madara stayed silent, observing the Rinnegan wielder. With a smirk he waved him away and sank back into the darkness of the room.

Do as you wish," he said casually, "Just don't let them die."

Pein reached the door and opened it.

"I won't."

* * *

Itachi woke with a start, jumping to his feet. His eyes darted around the small room, frantically before landing on Hidan who was resting against one of the four walls.

"Hidan where are we?" the raven asked quickly. Hidan shrugged and stood up.

"I dunno, but that crazy bitch who turned us into kids is behind this!" he growled, arms crossed, "And she took Deidara with her. He was pretty banged up when I woke here. He couldn't move much without it hurting."

Itachi bit his lip and looked around the room.

It was small and the walls were cold stone, slightly damp to the touch. The floors were clad in flagstones and offered no comfort at all. There was a small window with heavy metal bars and a wooden door bolted shut. Itachi's eyes finally came to rest on a small tag; one of four set in each corner of the room, quite high up. Chakra seals.

"Damn it!" he grunted, "Chakra seals. We have no way out of here. We would need Dei and even then I don't know if he has any clay or could even use it unless he prepared some with chakra in it already. I don't know what type of tags those are."

Hidan seemed to be thinking for a moment when he had a light bulb moment. He stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a pale coloured object and held out his hand for Itachi to inspect.

"Clay?"

Hidan nodded with a grin.

"Yeah, Deidara said he grabbed some of it before he was kidnapped and then he gave it to me before he was pulled out of here so that they wouldn't find it!"

Itachi marvelled at the blonde's quick thinking and silently praised him as he broke off a bit of the soft substance and stuck it in his own pocket.

There, now if you get caught, we will still have some and vice versa!" he said triumphantly, "Now all we need to do is wait for Dei to get back, take down the seals and then we can get outta here! We'll be back in time for dinner!"

As if on cue, both of their stomachs growled miserably.

* * *

**_Before anyone asks, regarding the Pein and Madara interaction, yes I am completely up to date with the Naruto manga and know very well who everyone is. Remember this is AU, as well as fanfiction, therefore I can choose what facts to omit and what myths to leave in._**

**_Drop us a favourite, follow and review guys._**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Okay this is the last of the chapters for today. And welcome to the villains of the story!**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

The lights were glaring at him with a vengeance. Groaning a little, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to roll over. Pain shot through his left side and he gasped, clutching his side. A hand stroked his hair soothingly. He smiled a little and snuggled into the bed.

"Danna un," he sighed contentedly. A light feminine chuckle caused him to snap his eyes open and stare up at a female who was definitely not his partner. Memories of the kidnapping flashed across his mind and he growled.

"Leave me alone un!" he hissed, scooting away from her. She grinned a little maliciously at him.

"Oh don't worry honey, I won't hurt you," she said, "Don't move too much, you'll just damage yourself again."

He looked down at himself and noticed thick bandages wrapped around his small torso and his left arm was in a cast. He internally cursed. Getting out with this could be tricky.

Deidara looked around the room, while staying aware of what the woman was doing. It looked like a normal hospital room, like the infirmary back home but smaller and not as modern. He turned a frosty glare back to the woman.

"I want my friends un!" he declared, "I want my Danna!"

The woman's eyes flashed angrily before she replaced the false smile on her face.

"Okay, sweetheart, I'll bring your friends in here for you now," she said gently. The blonde stayed silent as she walked out of the room and closed the door.

Deidara waited until she was gone and then stood up slowly and made his way over to the window. There were metal bars over it, slightly rusty with age. Nothing a bit of clay wouldn't fix! He scanned the rest of the room, searching for weak points or possible things to use to his advantage. He spotted a cupboard and stumbled over to it. Rummaging through, he found ointments, gauze, plasters and finally a shiny scalpel. He smirked and grabbed the silvery object and slipped it in between the wrappings on his chest.

Footsteps outside the door caused him to freeze and slam the cupboard shut. He hurried back over to the bed and slipped under the covers, careful not to stab himself on his temporary hidden weapon. The door opened and a disgruntled looking male glared in at him.

"What the hell were you doing?" he growled, limping into the room. Deidara blinked his big eyes a few times in an attempt to butter up the angry looking man with his cuteness.

"Sitting un."

"What?"

"Sitting here un."

"Why do you say un?"

"I just do un."

"It's annoying. Stop it!"

"I can't un."

"What do you mean you can't?"

Deidara rolled his eyes and glared at the male who glared back. The little blonde stood up and put his free hand on his hip; unfortunately with the other stuck in a cast the look was thrown off.

"I said I can't stop saying un, un!"

The man glared down at the child and grabbed him by the hair.

"Don't give me that attitude you little shit! I could kill you in a second!" he spat. Deidara growled and grabbed the hand around his hair. The hand mouth bit down and the man let out a pained yowl.

"What the fuck are those?" he demanded, staring at the bleeding bite marks. Deidara smirked and stuck two of his tongues out. The man jolted back in surprise. He raised a shaky hand, pointing at the little mouth, the tongue wagging around, as though mocking him.

"Y-you're a f-freak!" he hissed. Deidara felt a twinge of hurt in his chest and pulled his hand away. His eyes teared up and his lip quivered. He wasn't a freak! Danna said he wasn't!

"What the hell is going on?" an angry female voice sounded. Deidara groaned and looked over to the doorway. She was back. He looked down and noticed Itachi and Hidan, both being held by the wrists. The male froze and stared at her.

"J-Juunko, I-I was just…umm," he stammered. Juunko hissed and released the two Akatsuki members and stalked over to the man.

"What have I told you, you buffoon!" she screeched, "Do not harm these children! They are mine Hiroshi-baka!"

Hiroshi let out a pathetic noise as he was dragged from the room by his ear. Deidara, Hidan and Itachi sweatdropped.

"What a pathetic guy," Itachi mumbled, "And I got kidnapped by him…damn I suck!"

Deidara hurried over to them and pulled them both into a bone crushing one armed hug. Itachi and Hidan wrapped their arms around the bomber and they all laughed a little.

"Damn you guys, we're in trouble now!" Hidan stated casually, while avoiding getting choked in the group hug. Deidara grinned at the Jashinist.

"Do you still have my clay un?" he asked quickly. Hidan and Itachi grinned and each produced their own batch. The blonde's eyes lit up and he grabbed a bit checking it all over.

"Okay, we need to get out as soon as possible," Itachi said sternly, "There are chakra seals placed everywhere. Deidara can you use your clay at all when chakra is sealed."

Deidara sighed and shook his head.

"If there are seals that means I can't use my chakra to control the size of the blast un," he mumbled glumly, "Plus the clay would have the chakra sealed inside it, there wouldn't be an explosion yeah."

Hidan cursed and Itachi sighed.

"Okay, c'mon, we can get out of here easy!" Hidan declared, "We're Akatsuki, Jashin damn it! There only seems to be two assholes here so we can kick their asses!"

Deidara and Itachi grinned and they all sat down in a circle on the bed and discussed strategies.

"We just need to take down those two, find an exit and then use a bird to get home," Itachi said gleefully, "We need more weapons and stuff though. Maybe some things to set traps with!"

"I found a scalpel un," Deidara said quietly pulling it from his bandages. Hidan grinned and took it gently.

"Nice one Dei," he chuckled. The blonde nodded ad began looking around the other cupboards in the room. Itachi kept an eye and ear out for their captors now known to them as Juunko and Hiroshi or as Hidan had affectionately called them 'Bitch' and 'Her Bitch'.

"Crap guys they're coming!" Itachi hissed. Deidara and Hidan shut the drawers they were currently rummaging in and hid all of their stuff. This included surgical tape, scissors, dental floss and a bottle of disinfectant with a spraying nozzle. The bottle was awkward to hide but they made Deidara insist that he was allowed to take the blanket back to the room, therefore being able to hide the bulky object easily under the folds of the material.

"Why me un?" he demanded indignantly. Itachi smirked.

"Because, you're the youngest and the favourite!" he stated as if it was obvious.

"And you're too adorable to resist!" Hidan added brightly, earning him a dig in the arm. The artist sighed and held the blanket up to his chin cutely, giving the other two a big pout and making his eyes sparkle.

"O-okay Itachi-kun, Hidan-kun un," he said sweetly, holding the blanket tightly. They both stared at him, unable to fathom how cute he could be when he wanted to.

"I'm back sweethearts," called Juunko. Itachi and Hidan stepped closer to Deidara and they all looked up at her as she smiled.

"Now I have to take you to your room," she said, voice airy and annoying. The three sighed and glanced at each other. They followed her down the corridors, Deidara wincing a little. Itachi smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Hidan grinned and walked with them. They would start planning their escape once they were left alone.

* * *

Sasori and Konan didn't usually get along. They disagreed on just about everything. However under the current stress of the situation, they had allowed one thing to drive them to work together.

Deidara.

However, this still brought up some arguments.

"He likes me better!"

"Oh come on, you smother him like a mother hen! A pushy mother hen!"

"Well you're mean to him, you big mean hunk of wood!"

"In case you didn't know, I'm his Danna, by his choice too!"

"I hope termites eat you!"

"I hope paper wasps use you as a nest!"

"So childish!"

"I know you are."

Their bickering made them fail to notice a figure watching them. Said figure was snickering at their arguments as he sidled closer, creeping through the shadows of the trees.

"They are both so juvenile aren't they? **If they don't shut up, the three brats will most likely die."**

Konan and Sasori instantly stopped fighting and snapped their attention onto the new arrival.

"Zetsu!" Konan exclaimed, "Have you found them?"

The plant man smirked and shook his head.

"We followed them as far as the border before they crossed into Yuu," he said casually, "**They're probably headed towards Lightning Country, from the way they were going.**"

Konan and Sasori exchanged startled glances before turning back to the plant ninja.

"So we are stuck in the middle of enemy territory, with nothing to go on but an assumption?" Sasori growled, "This is ridiculous. How did they get away from you?"

Zetsu shrugged.

"They fooled me, by using a cloning jutsu, similar to the one they used to take the three brats," he explained, "**By the time we knew, they had escaped beyond the border.** We are working on locating them though."

Sasori growled and slammed his fist into a tree. Konan cursed under her breath.

"We need to head for the border and wait for Kakuzu and Kisame," Konan declared, "Then we can work on finding them. At least we have an idea of where they might be."

The puppet and the plant nodded and they leapt into the trees and raced for the border.

* * *

**_Dwaaah Deidara is so cute! :) Anyway, I think Rose had a secret liking for SasoKonan with the way they squabble like a married couple. But it's funny and I enjoy it too, so it's staying._**

**_I'll upload some more tomorrow...or I may hold them ransom for more reviews... it really depends on my mood, I never really hold out for reviews._**

**_But review anyway. I like feedback, flattery and flames equally._**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Here you go guys. Next chapter here. I'm not giving anything away but Juunko and Hiroshi's reasons for their villainous schemes will be explained soon in a later chapter. I know they seem wierd and out of the blue but bare with me. Enigma is always fun!**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

"Here you go darlings~" Juunko sang. Deidara, Itachi and Hidan cringed as they were pushed into the small room. It was painted white and had wooden floors. There were three small beds and a small connecting bathroom.

"You will stay in here unless Hiroshi or I come for you," she said airily. The three ninja stood and watched her close the door, hearing the lock click and footsteps moving down the corridor. Deidara dropped the blanket he was holding and set the bottle under the bed at the far end of the room.

"So what do we do now un?" he asked quietly. Itachi walked into the bathroom and looked around. The pair had been very thorough. There were even chakra seals in the bathroom. He walked back into the bedroom as Hidan was putting all of their objects in various hiding places including between the mattress of his bed and the bed frame, taped to the underside of the desk and in the small cupboard in the bathroom.

"Okay plan of action?" he asked, sitting down on the floor. Deidara came back over and gingerly sat down on the floor next to Hidan, his broken arm resting in his lap. Itachi sat down opposite them.

"Well, we need to get a better layout of this place," he began, "That woman, Juunko, I think she's called, said that she would be coming for us. That must mean they intend to take us somewhere else in this place."

Deidara nodded quickly.

"Yeah if we are being taken to other places we can get a better idea of where an exit might be un," he added, "When we escape, we have to know where it is so we can get out without running around blind yeah!"

"Exactly," Itachi said grinning at the other two. Hidan thought for a moment.

"But what if they try to hurt us?" he asked quietly. Deidara shook his head.

"I don't think they will hurt us badly un," he replied slowly, "When that man hurt me, she got really mad yeah."

Hidan and Itachi growled at Hiroshi. They would make sure he paid. Juunko too.

* * *

Konan and Sasori were seated around a small fire in the middle of the forest which covered the border between Fire Country and the Land of Hot Water. Zetsu was trying to get a fix on Deidara, Itachi and Hidan's chakra while they waited for Kakuzu and Kisame. The longer they waited, the antsier they got. By now, a single wrong word and the puppet master and the paper angel would be at each other's throats.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Sasori snapped. Night had fallen and still there was no sign of the swordsman or the miser. Konan smirked, knowing the red head was getting pissed off.

"Can't be helped I suppose," she said with an innocent smile; on the inside she was giggling evilly. Sasori scowled and pulled out a small scroll.

"Since they are deciding to take their damn time, I'm going to do something productive," he grumbled. He unsealed a puppet and tools and began to tweak it. Konan followed his example and retrieved some paper from an inside pocket of her cloak. It was azure blue, she noted a little sadly.

Nearly an hour passed by when they detected a massive body of chakra. They put away their things knowing full well who it was. True to their assumptions, Kisame and Kakuzu landed noiselessly in front of them, having jumped down from the thick branches of the trees.

"We came as fast as we could," Kisame said sternly, "We travelled on full burn."

"Okay rest for a while, Zetsu is trying to get a fix on the brats' location," Sasori said boredly. Kisame and Kakuzu nodded gratefully and practically collapsed to the ground where they had previously stood.

"Thank kami," Kisame sighed contentedly, a lofty grin crossing his blue face. Kakuzu just stared into the fire, the orange, yellow flames twisting and flickering in an intricate dance.

"It's weird without Hidan bitching about something," he said quietly, breaking the silence. Sasori smirked and nodded.

"I know what you mean," he replied, "Deidara can't shut up to save his own life. It's always, 'Danna I'm hungry' or 'Art is a bang' or Danna this and Danna that."

Kisame chuckled at the high pitched voice Sasori was putting on as he impersonated the bomber.

"You forgot the 'un' part," he snickered. Sasori chuckled a little with him before shaking his head.

"He's not a bad kid in the end," he continued, "Drives me mad but always with the best intentions."

Kisame nodded.

"Itachi isn't like that at all," he stated, "But he's always there when you need him. Doesn't talk a lot at home but we can have interesting conversations when on a mission. Sometimes I have to bribe him with dango just to get a few words out but he's a good kid too."

Kakuzu snorted a little and threw another stick in the fire.

"Hidan's just a pain in the ass," he grunted, "But I'll admit, he's never betrayed or abandoned me yet. Through all the bitching, complaining, name calling and religious bullshit, his loyalty is…admirable I suppose."

Kisame and Sasori nodded in quiet agreement.

Konan watched each man as they talked about their partners. It was heart-warming to hear that they each did value their partners even if they never showed it. She was beginning to think that this whole fiasco was a blessing in disguise for the Akatsuki members. She looked down at the bird she had been folding as it rested in her lap.

"I think Deidara-Chan had a point when he said art was fleeting," she murmured, fiddling with the paper creature. The other three missing ninja snapped their attention onto her.

"Why would you say that?" Sasori queried, a red eyebrow raised. Konan smiled a little sadly and threw the bird she had made into the fire. She watched it curl up and burn for a moment before answering.

"You never truly appreciate something until it's gone," she replied, "We take our partners for granted and never realise how much we need them until they aren't there anymore."

The other three lowered their gazes to the fire again, pondering her words. Kisame broke the silence.

"You are right," he said slowly, "However, we are getting them back! They won't be gone forever!"

Everyone saw the determined gleam in his eyes. Konan smirked a little when she saw the exact same shine in Sasori and Kakuzu's as well. She nodded and smiled widely at them.

"Of course we will," she said brightly, "And we can consider this a lesson on appreciating who we are put with! Sasori; Deidara may not share your views on art but at least he respects them highly and strives for your respect as well. Not everyone is as appreciative of your talents as he is. Kisame; Itachi may not talk much but he will always be there to listen and look out for you. He also thinks very highly of you. Kakuzu; Hidan may be as irritating as hell, but he will never stab you in the back, or abandon you. He's not always respectful, but he will always be there for you."

Everyone nodded and smiled a little. Konan loved a good motivational speech when she could get one in; especially if it revolved around bonds and the importance of friendship. A little cliché but who wasn't sometimes?

They were about to get some sleep when Zetsu appeared, half sticking out of a tree, successfully scaring the shit out of Kisame, who took a swing at him with Samehada.

"What the hell Zetsu, don't sneak up on me like that!" he shrieked, in a rather unmanly fashion. Zetsu gave him a creepy grin.

"We're sorry Kisame-san.** That was some funny shit!** No it wasn't that was mean!** Don't be such a pansy!**"

Everyone sighed a little as Zetsu proceeded to argue with himself. Konan stood up and stalked over.

"Zetsu, do you have something important to tell us or did you just fancy emasculating Kisame?" she asked darkly. Kisame made to protest but was stopped by the 'Keep quiet or I'll rip your face off' aura that Konan was currently emitting. Zetsu seemed to sense it too as his White side spoke while his Black half behaved for once.

"We got a faint trace of the male who kidnapped the kids," he explained, "**Must have barriers or something around their hideout.** Yes we think so. They are north east of our current location. **Quite far from here, they may be as far as the Land of Frost. **Yes that is a big possibility."

Konan visibly paled. It was rather far away and they needed to be well equipped for battling the snow and freezing conditions.

"Right, we shall leave in the morning," she said sternly, "We need to be at full strength. We won't just be battling enemy ninja; we'll also be battling the elements."

The others nodded and everyone went to sleep with the exception of Sasori, who stayed up and kept watch for the others, his thoughts on a certain artist with a love for explosives.

* * *

Pein travelled through the night to find his comrades who had left before him. He had stayed behind to finish doing more investigation into the jutsu. The symptoms seemed rather different from the ones Itachi, Deidara and Hidan were experiencing which led him to believe that there was something more below the surface.

True the three were beginning to act more like their ages before they were taken. Itachi was playful and mischievous, taking pleasure from simple childish games and being naughty. Hidan was much quieter, swearing kept to an absolute minimum and he had also lost his masochistic qualities, judging by Kakuzu's report of their last mission. However, Hidan seemed more mature than the other two and a hell of a lot better behaved than his previous twenty two year old self, sad to say. Deidara too had changed a lot, possibly the most. He was sweet, playful and rather clingy when it came to Sasori and Itachi, surprisingly; it was like the bomber had forgotten all previous grudges and events leading to them. Even more intriguing was Itachi who treated Deidara like a little brother, possibly to fill the void that Sasuke had left. Pein wondered if Itachi even recalled who Sasuke was and was just acting on a whim.

These thoughts swirled around the leader's mind as he travelled at almost inhuman speed through the forests of Fire Country. Right now though, the important thing was to get Hidan, Itachi and Deidara back, before moving onto the problem of returning them to normal.

Yes, taking smaller steps would give him much less of a headache, than trying to fix the whole big picture in one move.

He could sense the chakra of his best friend a few miles away. It felt dormant so he knew she must have been sleeping. Honing his senses in on the area, he found two other dormant chakra masses, belonging to Kisame and Kakuzu. Sasori and Zetsu seemed to still be awake.

Pein sped up a bit and reached the clearing around twenty minutes later.

"Any news?" he asked immediately, startling Sasori, who whipped around, his soft brown eyes rather wide.

"Leader-sama?" he asked, before regaining his composure, "Ah, yes, Zetsu thinks he's found them."

Pein immediately turned his attention to the plant man, who told him what he had told the others a while ago.

"The Land of Frost," Pein murmured, a frown on his face, "That could be rather problematic, especially when we actually retrieve them."

Sasori and Zetsu nodded slowly. They all sat around the fire, silence encasing them once again.

* * *

Deidara, Hidan and Itachi all sneezed simultaneously after deciding on their plan of action. Deidara winced as the motion made his ribs throb.

"Someone must be talking about us un," he mumbled, scratching his nose with his free hand, the mouth on it trying to nip him. Itachi nodded and chuckled a little.

"Must be the others coming up with a plan to rescue us!" he said gleefully, "See? Kisa wouldn't ditch me like that! Neither would Kakuzu or Sasori!"

Deidara smiled, feeling reassured until Hidan burst their bubbles.

"Ummm, but they don't know where we are," he pointed out miserably, "Hell, we don't even have a clue where we are."

Deidara sighed and slowly rose to his feet. He padded over to a small window and tried to peek out, only to find he was too short. Scowling he turned to the other two.

"Hidan un," he said quickly, "Give me a boost yeah!"

Hidan grinned and walked over, linking his hands to give Deidara a leg up. Itachi helped and together, they held up the small blonde's light frame so he could just peek outside. He gasped.

"There's snow everywhere un!" he exclaimed, "And a blizzard yeah."

Hidan and Itachi glanced nervously at one another, Hidan cursing a little.

"So we're somewhere north?" Itachi guessed. Deidara gave a nod and squinted, looking farther across the frozen wasteland.

"The blizzard is getting worse un," he sighed dejectedly, "I can barely see three feet yeah."

Itachi and Hidan lowered him to the ground and they all sat down on the cold floor again.

"This sucks!" Hidan exclaimed, "So we know we're somewhere cold and there's lots of snow. So we are somewhere north; probably the Land of Frost. Shit."

Itachi was about to reply when they all heard a click and the door opened, revealing a disgruntled Hiroshi, carrying a food tray.

"Dinner, you ungrateful little shits," he growled, setting it on the table. He stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut and locking it before he walked briskly down the hall.

Itachi approached the tray and grimaced as he lifted it up and carried it to their little circle. He set it down in the middle. Hidan wrinkled his nose.

"What is this crap?" he muttered, lifting a bowl of what he thought was grass in dirty water. Deidara poked it with a spoon and made a face.

"I'd rather eat my clay un," he mumbled. Itachi daringly took a small spoonful of it.

"I think its vegetable soup," he said slowly, "It's not too bad. Could use more salt though! I miss Kisame's cooking."

"Yeah and Konan's too un," Deidara added, "Her breakfast waffles are awesome yeah!"

They laughed a little before Deidara and Hidan, rather reluctantly, tried a little too. As soon as the spoons touched their lips, they realised just how hungry they were. Pretty soon the soup, bread rolls and the water was all gone and all that remained was the tray and the plates and cutlery. Itachi set the tray back on the table to be taken away later.

"So what are we gonna do now? He asked, looking around. Deidara yawned and rubbed his visibly eye.

"I'm tired, I'm gonna go to sleep un," he said, standing and making his way over to the bed he claimed earlier. Hidan and Itachi followed suite and scurried under their own thin blankets. The room was rather cold as the snow storm raged on outside. They all fell asleep after a quick wish and prayer that their comrades would be able to find them.

* * *

**_I'm a little irked by how out of character the rest of the Akatsuki are. However it is necessary for the sake of the plot and for humour. Plus Rose loves her cute and cuddly Akatsuki, like I love my gruff but caring versions._**

**_Drop a favourite and review guys, it's much appreciated!_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Next chapter is here now. I think I'll get another two chapters uploaded today and then see if I have time tomorrow. Sadly with it being a monday, I'm not sure what work I'll have to do...**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

Konan woke from a horrible dream. Her eyes blinked several times trying to adjust to the early morning sunshine. She shivered a little in the spring mist. Sitting up, she stretched and winced, working the stiffness from her joints. Looking across the small camp she saw Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetsu and Pein already awake. She smiled a little when she made eye contact with Pein and scooted over to him.

"Do we have a plan?" she asked quietly, stifling a small yawn. The pierced ninja nodded and waked over to kick Kisame awake.

Safe to say the blue skinned man did not appreciate the wakeup call.

"Damn it people!" he screeched, "First Zetsu and now YOU?!"

Pein smirked and crossed his arms.

"Get up, we have to go rescue your partners," he drawled, "Or did you forget about them?"

Kisame growled and gripped the handle of Samehada as he rose swiftly to his feet.

"Never!" he snarled, "Suggest that again and I'll shred you; Leader or not."

Pein smirked and nodded, seating himself next to his partner again. Kisame joined the group, grumbling to himself. Pein looked around at the remaining Akatsuki members.

"Right, we have a good idea of where they are," he stated matter of factly, "We will properly prepare for the journey and head out as soon as possible. When we are all ready, we shall head for a small village and gather supplies."

Everyone nodded and was ready to leave in the space of ten minutes. With an agreement to travel in pairs, they set out for the nearest settlement. Sasori and Konan left together, followed by Kisame and Kakuzu and finally Pein and Zetsu who hung back to discuss a plan.

"Do you have any idea where the fortress is?" Pein queried. The plant man frowned a little and shook his head.

"We could only detect chakra from the male. **The bastards were too far away to work out anything else**," he replied, "Once we get closer, we can find out more of the terrain.** And eat the fuckers who mess with Akatsuki.**"

Pein smirked and nodded before racing off, after the rest of his comrades, leaving Zetsu to sink into the forest floor.

* * *

Itachi rolled over in his bed, expecting to see his partner snoring away on the other side of their shared room. Instead, he saw Deidara curled up on his side, face contorted in pain. The raven frowned and looked to his other side, seeing Hidan snuggled into his blankets, shivering a little.

"Oh I remember now," Itachi mumbled to himself, "Well this sucks doesn't it?"

He sat up and hopped out of his bed, padding towards the bathroom. He looked around, hoping to find a toothbrush. He almost grinned when he saw three coloured toothbrushes.

After a small victory dance, the Uchiha grabbed the red one and began to hunt for toothpaste. After finding it and brushing his teeth, he went about fixing his hair and finally, deeming himself presentable, he waltzed out in time to see Hidan and Deidara waking up.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, "There's stuff in the bathroom if you two wanna get ready."

Hidan groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

"I wanna sleep more and it's bloody freezing!" he whined, teeth chattering dramatically. Deidara giggled and slowly climbed out of bed, padding towards the bathroom yawning and rubbing his visible eye.

Itachi hummed to himself as he made his bed and began to look around the room again.

"Anyone know the time?" he asked casually. Hidan snorted.

"Too early," he retorted, "Sorry I forgot to pack a damn watch before I was kidnapped."

Itachi laughed at the Jashinist along with Deidara's laughter which floated from the bathroom.

"Tachi, let Hidan get his beauty sleep or he'll get whiny un!" Deidara called from the bathroom. Itachi laughed harder, dodging a pillow thrown at his head. The bomber walked out of the bathroom and looked over to the pale child.

"Hidan, my toothbrush is the blue one and Itachi's is the red un," he stated casually. Hidan sighed and flung himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He trudged in, his bare feet slapping against the cold concrete floor. His eyes fell on his toothbrush and he rolled his eyes.

"Real damn mature you morons!" he snorted, "A fucking pink toothbrush! My dreams have come true! Now all I need is that fucking pony that Kakuzu promised me!"

Deidara and Itachi giggled together as the raven helped the blonde make his bed. Hidan wandered out and they sat around on the floor, not knowing what to do.

"What now un?" Deidara asked, combing through his bangs. Itachi shrugged.

"Can't do anything except wait until we get a better look around this place," he replied, "We just stay here."

Deidara and Hidan sighed. They talked for a short while until the door opened and Juunko entered with their breakfast. She smiled sickly sweet at them.

"Hello dears, breakfast time," she said in an airy fairy manner, making the three males cringe. She set the tray down and retreated to the door.

"Once you are done, I need little Dei-Chan and Hidan-kun," she stated, "Itachi-kun, you will go with Hiroshi."

The ninja waited for her to leave before Hidan went to get the food. Looking at it he sighed and carried it back, dumping it on the ground.

"More water, apples and something that looks like sick," he grumbled. Itachi and Deidara took their bowls which actually contained oatmeal and dug in. Hunger didn't discriminate what food they got. Within five or ten minutes, the food was gone.

"Right guys, keep your eyes peeled when she takes you away," Itachi said quickly, "Look for anywhere that looks like an entrance to this place and also look out for other people. We need to know how many people are here."

Deidara and Hidan nodded determinedly. Juunko arrived a short while later with Hiroshi and they ushered the three child ninja out of the room. They walked together for about five minutes, twisting and turning through a labyrinth of corridors and hallways. Soon they came to a T-junction and Hiroshi dragged Itachi left while Juunko directed the other two right. The two shot nervous looks at Itachi who gave them a quick reassuring smile as he was pulled away.

"Right you two, be on your best behaviour and nothing bad will happen to your Uchiha friend," Juunko stated, malice underlying her voice. The blonde flinched while the Jashinist scowled.

They were taken into what looked like an operating theatre except with counters and work surfaces covered in microscopes, test-tube racks and many strange looking machines and devices. Juunko set Hidan in a metal chair, swiftly cuffing him to it, making him growl like an angry animal.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded, tugging at the metal that curled around his wrists tightly, bruising the skin. Juunko smirked and tapped her nose.

"Can't have you causing a fuss while I examine this one," she stated casually, grabbing Deidara's shoulder and moving him towards the table like platform in the middle of the chamber. The blonde struggled and attempted to bite the female but she just chuckled and placed him on the table. She tied down his legs, arms and head. She grabbed some scissors and cut away his shirt. The blonde whimpered as she removed the cloth and examined his chest mouth in surprise.

"Hmm, so it's not just your hands that have these," she murmured to herself more than anyone else. Hidan yelled at her.

"Leave him the fuck alone you bitch!" he shouted. She turned her head and narrowed her eyes at the cursing child.

"Learn to control your tongue, or he loses one of his," she snapped, pointing a finger at Deidara who was fighting against the straps, anger and fear clear as day on his face, "Besides, I am merely examining him; I will not hurt him any more than necessary."

Hidan fell silent, his glare burning holes in the bitch's head. He watched every move she made.

He hoped Itachi was alright.

* * *

Itachi was bored as hell. He was currently strapped to a table, thick leather bindings holding down his arms, legs and wrapped around his torso and forehead. He was cold without his shirt and his nose had a terrible itch.

"Hey, can you scratch my nose," he called boredly to his captor, "Its driving me crazy!"

Hiroshi raised an eyebrow in surprise but quickly resumed a scowl.

"No," he snapped, "You can suffer with it! Juunko-sama said I examine you and that is all."

Itachi giggled.

"That Juunko has you whipped like a dog," he chortled, "And if you keep up that scowl, you're gonna get more wrinkles."

"Shut up you brat!" Hiroshi snapped, a vein popping on his forehead. He had to get the annoying one! Itachi just sighed and began to hum as Hiroshi continued his examination.

"So is it just you and Juunko then?" Itachi asked, "No one else around?"

Hiroshi's eyes narrowed at the child.

"Yes why?" he growled. Itachi just smirked and shrugged as best as he could in his current predicament.

"Oh no reason, it just seems rather quiet around here," he replied, "Must be lonely huh?"

Hiroshi rolled his eyes.

"Look kid shut up and I won't hurt you," he growled, "I will hurt you and just say you tried to escape. I wonder what Juunko would do to those other two if she heard you were misbehaving?"

Itachi knew he was bluffing but couldn't help the growl that had escaped from his throat. He didn't open his mouth again, just revelling that he had a vital piece of information.

"So…why are you doing this?" he asked quietly, "What do you have against the Akatsuki?"

Hiroshi refused to answer for a short while as he took measurements of the Uchiha's limbs and height.

"I have nothing against you personally," he grunted, scribbling notes on a clipboard, "Juunko-sama, she is the one with a score to settle. She is the last of her clan; which was wiped out by an Akatsuki member."

Itachi frowned, rather confused as to why the Akatsuki would kill an entire clan. Hiroshi continued, breaking his train of thought.

"She had a family once, a husband and three children. They were all murdered. Now she wants revenge."

"So…she's turning us into kids to get revenge?" Itachi queried, "Sorry to tell you but the only revenge she got was giving our leader a massive headache."

Hiroshi smirked a little, before setting the clipboard down.

"Just shut up."

* * *

Coming across a small village, Sasori and Konan stopped and walked in casually. They made their way towards a general store and began to collect necessary equipment. They replenished kunai and went to shop selling medical things including full first aid kits and emergency food ration packs.

Once the angel and the puppet were ready, they went to a small tea shop to wait for the others to arrive.

"The Land of Frost huh?" Konan muttered, "It's gonna be slow getting home when we have them."

Sasori looked over at the kunoichi, a red eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hand wrapped around his untouched cup of tea, unfeeling of the warmth it emitted. Konan sighed.

"Being a puppet doesn't mean you are allowed to abuse the right to stupidity Sasori," she drawled, causing Sasori to growl and kick her under the table gently. She snickered but continued.

"Well, those three are likely to be weakened by the enemy, since they are still very strong shinobi," she stated, "Plus the Land of Frost have frequent snow storms so the likelihood of us hitting one is high. Put two and two together and we have one really slow trip home."

The redhead sighed, realising this. He simply shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes.

"We will do what is necessary," he muttered, "It's not like we have a choice."

Konan smiled and nodded.

"I suppose."

They only had to wait another fifteen minutes until Kisame, Kakuzu and Pein arrived. They made sure everything was set and then headed out of the small village, one clear purpose driving them all. Pein ran them through the plan on the way.

"Zetsu has gone ahead of us to try and uncover more information about the target people," he called out as they raced through the Land of Hot Water, "We will meet him at the border before we all head into the Land of Frost. Once there, we will work out a plan on getting them out and punishing the perpetrators."

"Hell yeah!" Kisame cheered, "Sounds like a plan!"

Sasori and Kakuzu smirked and followed their leader, getting closer to their partners.

* * *

Itachi was dragged back to his temporary accommodation by a very sour Hiroshi. The raven had a few remarks he could have made but decided to keep his mouth shut, for fear of punishment. He was shoved back in the room to see Hidan with his arm around Deidara who looked rather shell shocked.

"What happened?" the Uchiha demanded, hurrying over to the pair. Deidara snapped out of his trance and hugged Itachi tight, sniffling into his shoulder.

"I was really worried un," he exclaimed hurriedly, "She said you were gonna suffer if we didn't behave then she threatened to cut one of my tongues out if Hidan said anything and…and…"

Hidan looked angry as he gazed at Itachi, who held Deidara as he whimpered. The Jashinist sighed and shut his eyes for a moment.

"She's done with examinations," he stated, "Next step is to poke us around, see how the jutsu fucked us up. I'm not looking forward to it one bit."

Itachi nodded and sighed as he rested the side of his face against Deidara's head.

"Well, I found out from Hiroshi that they are the only two in this whole place," he said quickly, "That makes escape much easier."

Deidara lifted his head up to look at the raven.

"We memorised the way to the research lab," he mumbled, "We passed a couple of supply cupboards, a few flights of stairs that went down a floor but we stayed on the same level the entire time un."

Itachi grinned.

"That's great!" he exclaimed, "So that must mean there is only one floor and a basement and judging by the way the land looks, I'd say we are on the ground floor."

Hidan grinned excitedly.

"So we just need to see a bit more of this hideout and then we can get out?" he suggested, "That fucking rocks!"

Deidara managed a small smile as he cuddled into Itachi and held Hidan's hand.

"I'm starving," Hidan complained, "When do we get food?" Deidara and Itachi giggled a bit at the whiny tones coming from the eldest but were cut short when their stomachs growled miserably.

"I don't think we are gonna be treated to five course meals Hidan," Itachi stated matter of factly, "Judging by the food so far, we will get two meals a day and just enough to keep us alive and mostly healthy."

"Healthy?" Hidan snorted, "Yeah right, I could cook food better than that and I can't cook for shit!"

Deidara giggled again and his visible eye shone a little.

"I remember that un!" he exclaimed, "You blew up the cooker and everyone blamed me! Sasori no Danna yelled at me for ages and you never owned up yeah!"

Itachi fell over laughing as Deidara jumped onto the silver haired male and proceeded to beat him with a pillow. Hidan raised his arms in defence.

"Right fine Dei!" he yelped, "I'll admit to it when we get the fuck outta here!"

The blonde laughed loudly as he released the older male and rested his back against the bed.

"I'm gonna hold you to that un!" he chuckled.

They all laughed a little as they waited for their captors to bring them food.

"Hey," Itachi murmured, "Hiroshi also spilled why they're doing this."

"Why then?" Hidan queried, flopping himself down on his bed. Deidara looked inquisitively at the raven haired boy, who was staring at the floor intently.

"He said that…Juunko is getting revenge…for an Akatsuki member murdering her family," he explained, "She had a husband and children. But who did it? It wasn't one of us right?"

Hidan and Deidara shook their heads, their faces very glum.

"We can ask when the others come get us un," Deidara replied quietly, "It may have been before our time. We are the newest to the organisation un."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…still…"

* * *

**_Now some of Juunko's reason is coming to light. Thoug her revenge is more than just turning them into children. Fell free to come up with your own theories but I'm not giving away any spoilers so don't ask me questions unless they aren't related to Juunko and Hiroshi! More explanations will come I promise._**

**_R&R folks! _**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hey guys. Sorry for the wait but here's the next chapter. I've had a lot of work to do lately and I've also gotten an addiction to One Piece...blame my boyfriend but I have yet another favourite blonde character to add to my ever growing list...**_

_**It's just...Sanji...is freaking awesome!**_

_**Enjoy**_

* * *

Wake up, eat a small breakfast, and get dragged off for testing. This was the routine that was swiftly put in place for the three Akatsuki members once they had been examined thoroughly. They were often taken out one at a time by Juunko or occasionally, Hiroshi would join her and one of the four year olds would be left alone in the room.

They were asked questions about things such as Itachi's clan heritage and Deidara's forbidden techniques with clay. If one of them refused to answer, then a simple matter of threatening to hurt one of the others would usually force the answer out. The only time they resorted to actual violence was when Hidan refused to spill secrets about his faith. Itachi had handled the beating, telling Hidan that it was okay, but when Deidara was hit in front of him, Hidan caved, with both children apologising to one another profusely.

They had taken note of as much of the base as they were shown but time was running out. They were pretty certain that the experiments were going to become more intense soon and none of them wanted to try escaping with injuries.

They had been held captive for five days when Hidan was brought back with thick bandages covering his stomach. Juunko let go of him and he promptly collapsed to the floor, holding his gut in pain, tears threatening to spill over.

"Don't worry dear, the pain will go away in a few hours," the woman said with a rather psychotic and sadistic tone. She left the room as Deidara and Itachi darted over to the Jashinist.

"What the hell did she do to you?" Itachi demanded, pulling one of Hidan's arms around his shoulders and hoisting him to his feet. Deidara did the same on his other side and together they half carried, half dragged him over to his bed. Once he was placed under the blankets he groaned and began to explain.

"Stupid bitch decided to fucking test my immortality!" he snarled, "S-she cut me open and w-waited to see what happened. I just bled till I fucking passed out."

The bomber and raven exchanged alarmed looks and looked back to their friend. He grinned weakly and waved them away.

"D-don't worry, I'll be h-healed in a few hours," he muttered, "J-just let me sleep."

Itachi nodded and pulled the protesting blonde away to sit on the bed next to Hidan.

"If this is what she has started, then we better get out soon," Itachi murmured, "Don't worry about consequences, if she tries anything get out as fast as possible, Dei."

Deidara gulped and his blue eye stared intensely at the raven.

"I'm not leaving you guys un," he said determinedly, "I know you wouldn't leave us so don't ask that of me yeah!"

Itachi sighed and set a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Please Dei, we both know if things turn bad for either of us, our chance of escape gets smaller," he explained, "Hidan is different since he can heal quickly but you are already injured, even though Juunko has healed you up as much as possible. But she can easily hurt you or me."

Deidara swallowed and nodded, a scowl crossing his face. He looked over at Hidan and bit his lip.

"Are the others gonna even come un?" he asked quietly. Itachi smirked.

"Of course they will!" he said proudly, "You know the Akatsuki is a mess without us guys there to keep everyone sane!"

Deidara shot him a sceptical look.

"C'mon Tachi, we are probably the most insane out of them all un," he retorted, rolling his eyes. Itachi laughed at him.

"So Pein has a god complex and a piercings fetish, Konan believes Pein is a God, Sasori makes puppets out of dead bodies and calls it art, Kakuzu has an obsession with money and Zetsu is schizophrenic and eats people yet we are the insane ones?" he questioned, "Yeah that sounds _completely _ right!"

Deidara giggled at Itachi as he pretended to be all the other Akatsuki members. He was glad Itachi and Hidan were there to make him feel better. He looked out the window and made a face at the weather.

"Juunko and Hiroshi won't be coming for Hidan any time soon un," he murmured, "It will be me and you."

Itachi nodded and fiddled with his bangs.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine."

* * *

Zetsu awaited the five Akatsuki members at the border between the Land of Frost and Hot Water. He was pretty certain on their targets' location now and simply needed to relay his information back to Pein.

"They should be arriving soon. **They're taking their fucking time.** Oh be quiet, they're going as fast as they can. **Still too slow. **They need to be strong enough to fight."

Zetsu continued to argue with himself until several familiar chakras closed in on him. He turned grinning at the troops as they stopped in front of him, taking a short break and waiting for him to speak.

"We have found an exact location and already checked it out," he said cheerfully, "**The brats are still alive as far as we can tell. **The hideout has chakra barriers and detectors around it so the enemy will know we are there the minute we pass through. **Move fast before they get the chance to kill anyone.**"

Pein frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Alright, thank you Zetsu," he said, "This will require a good strategy and perfect execution."

Everyone waited to see what he decided to do. In that time, Sasori, Kisame and Kakuzu had made themselves comfortable on the ground and Konan had leaned against a tree, twirling her lip piercing with her tongue. She glanced around, eyes never able to stay in one place for too long. She noticed none of the others were staying still either. Kakuzu was picking at the stitches on his arms; Kisame was running his hand up and down the handle of Samehada; even Sasori was pulling at pieces of grass next to him.

"Right, I have a plan," Pein said boldly, "We will sort it out on the way. Now I'm just concerned about getting there in good time."

Everyone nodded and made their way across the border into the Land Of Frost.

* * *

As Deidara had said, Juunko arrived a few hours later with Hiroshi. The female was smiling as her eyes flickered towards Hidan and then back to Deidara and Itachi.

"Come along dears," she stated, grabbing Deidara's arm. He protested and struggled just to earn a slap across the face. Itachi growled and was about to attack the woman when Hiroshi grabbed him and twisted his arm painfully.

"No misbehaving!" he snapped. Juunko smirked and together, they dragged the two ninja from the room and down the halls. Hiroshi dragged Itachi away into another hall, away from Deidara who gave Itachi a fearful look that almost broke the raven's heart.

"Where are we going?" Itachi demanded. Hiroshi snickered.

"Juunko-sama wants to learn more about your Sharingan," he replied, "You've got two so why not share?"

Itachi's eyes widened and fear shot through him. He numbly followed Hiroshi into a surgical theatre. Itachi knew what was going to happen as he was directed to stand in the middle of the room, next to the operating table. Hiroshi left to rummage through cupboards for sedatives.

The raven's eyes darted around the room, finding a small tray with surgical tools next to the table. His gaze fell on a shiny dissecting knife. His hands trembled as he crept towards it, making sure Hiroshi's back was still to him. He silently lifted the new weapon and hid it behind his back, moving back to his previous position.

Hiroshi turned around, a needle in his hand. He grinned maliciously at the Uchiha, shuffling closer to the child.

"I'm gonna enjoy carving that eye of yours out," he giggled as he leaned down to inject the sedative in. Itachi patiently waited until the male had leaned close enough before swinging his weapon around.

He slashed through Hiroshi's throat, blood spraying the raven as he fell to the floor gargling. Itachi cursed as he realised he hadn't cut deep enough to kill him but he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and he would bleed to death soon anyway.

"You aren't getting my eyes!" Itachi snarled, kicking the man in the ribs, "And that's for Deidara and Hidan!"

Hiroshi snarled and waved his free arm which wasn't clamped over his throat at the child. Itachi easily dodged and raced out of the room, back towards the place he had been separated from Deidara at. He cursed quietly when he realised he wasn't sure where the blonde was but swiftly went for a trial and error tactic.

He hurried through the halls, his shoes making barely any noise, as he peeked into all the rooms he passed. He came across a door and pressed his ear against it. He could hear murmuring and whimpering from inside.

Bingo!

He wrenched the door open just as Juunko had begun to cut around Deidara's chest mouth. The blonde cried out in pain as Itachi raced forward and lunged for Juunko who screeched and dropped her scalpel. Itachi grasped her hair and activated his Sharingan. Juunko screamed and slumped to the floor, knocked out cold. Deidara gasped and cheered.

"Tachi un, you came!" he exclaimed, relief evident. The Uchiha grinned at him and unstrapped the blonde from the table. He checked the wound in his chest and hurried over to the cupboard.

"It's a good thing I came when I did or she would've cut you open completely," Itachi said hurriedly, running back over and wrapping the bandages around Deidara.

"Yeah un," he replied, "We should get out now."

Itachi nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling the bomber through the halls towards their room. They burst through the door and found Hidan sitting up, taking off the bandages around his stomach.

"Hey guys what-"he began. Itachi shook his head and grabbed the silver haired male.

"Not now Hidan, we're getting the hell outta here!" Itachi stated, guiding all of them out of the room and down the halls. Three sets of eyes darted around looking for their escape route.

"There un!" Deidara exclaimed, pointing to their left. Grins stretched across their three faces and they raced for it. They kicked open the door and looked out into the pure white wilderness. Itachi, Hidan and Deidara steeled themselves as they made their way out of their prison and into harsh freedom.

* * *

The Akatsuki positioned themselves around the hideout, waiting for the go ahead from Pein.

Sasori, Kakuzu and Kisame were to storm the hideout and find their partners while Konan and Pein went to find and confront the man and woman who kidnapped them.

"Everyone, go!" Pein ordered. They all shot forward and forced their way into the enemy base.

It was eerily quiet. There were no people walking around or hiding.

"We should have run into some resistance by now," Sasori growled, keeping up with the two taller men. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed and he came to a stop, kicking a door open on their left. Sasori and Kisame's eyes widened at the huge pool of blood, sloshed across the floor.

"W-who's is that?" Kisame asked cautiously, fearing the answer. Kakuzu knelt down next to it, examining it.

"I don't know but I think there is too much here for it to have come from Deidara, he's too small," he stated, "Hidan it won't matter anyway although he would be more difficult to break out but Itachi…"

He trailed off as Kisame steeled himself and continued to find any trace of them. Sasori watched as Kakuzu stood up and walked back to him.

"Let's just find them," Sasori murmured, drawing a nod from the ninja.

They searched high and low for any traces of them. All they found was the remnants of one of Deidara's torn and bloody shirts, a few of Hidan's blood samples and three files listing observations of all three of them. There were also a few pages listing possible extractions of Itachi's eyes to steal his Sharingan and dissection methods for Deidara to further study his chest mouth. It was truly sickening to the three older partners as their fears threatened to take control.

"They aren't here!" Kisame exclaimed in frustration, "This is a damn dead end!"

They met up with Pein and Konan, only bothering to take the notes on the jutsu with them. The rest was going to be burned to the ground.

"This place is empty," Pein stated, meeting them just outside. The three ninja cursed as Konan set paper bombs around the base. The five leapt back and watched the building go up in flames. Zetsu appeared behind them, his white half looking frantic and his black half looking disgruntled.

"Pein-sama! **We sense the brats.** They had escaped before we arrived. **Annoying kids**," Zetsu called. Konan, Kisame and Sasori raced over to him, demanding answers as the winds howled around them and snow threatened to cut their eyes out.

"We sense them a few miles from here," Zetsu said quickly, "**You might wanna hurry. **Their chakra is getting weak, especially Itachi's."

This was all they needed to hear from the plant man. Kisame, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori raced off in the direction Zetsu sent them. Pein turned to his subordinate.

"What condition are they in?" he asked sternly. Zetsu shook his head.

"Hidan and Deidara are out in this weather shirtless and Itachi has low chakra levels like he used a lot recently," he stated, "**Not gonna last long in their condition."**

Pein nodded and bolted off after the others.

* * *

**_Yay! They've escaped. They'll be back together very soon for more Akatsuki banter! :)_**

**_R&R folks, I'm off to steal more One Piece boxsets of my boyfriend!_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**So...hello again. I apologies for the long absence again but life happened again; you all know that terrible inconvenience that sneaks up on all writers and forces them away from their passions!**_

_**I also have a new fandom to adore and obsess over...I've watched over 100 episodes of One Piece in the space of two months! Thank my boyfriend, who we shall call Luffy (he's a Luffy cosplayer and so in character when he does it it's almost scary!) for lending me the boxsets and getting me hooked. I returned the favour and made him watch Naruto though :D (I have not betrayed my #1 fandom!)**_

_**Anyway you can all thank Hyun Misheru-san for her really lovely and encouraging message that spurred me into action to upload more chapters today!**_

_**Warnings: OOC characters, Hidan's mouth, mild violent description**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

Sasori, Kakuzu and Kisame picked up their pace when they felt their partners' chakra. Worry clenched their insides when they felt how weak they were. The blizzard was gradually worsening if that was even possible and by now the only one who wasn't shivering violently was Sasori.

"They should be up ahead," the redhead yelled over the wind, his voice coming out as a whisper to the other two. They nodded and pushed forward through the unforgiving and unending white.

"There!" Kisame yelled, pointing towards a small flicker of orange in the emptiness. They flitted towards the light to find a tiny dug out, tunnelled into the snow, a small flickering flame illuminating the unconscious forms of Deidara, Hidan and Itachi. All of them completely still and curled around each other, huddled close to the feeble, dying fire. Their chests were rising and falling, a shallow indication of their delicate lives still clinging on.

"They're alive!" Kisame exclaimed, peeking in. Without further prompting, Sasori crawled in, being the only one small enough to fit and checked over the small bodies.

Hidan had a recently healed slash across his stomach, which stood out startlingly against his pale skin. Itachi's skin was extremely pale and clammy with blood trailing from his eyes, bruises and cuts littering his body. Deidara didn't look much better, his skin deathly pale and his lips a deep blue colour. He had bandages roughly wrapped around his upper torso with bruises and cuts, similar to Itachi.

"We need to get them out of here!" Sasori called out urgently as he lifted Hidan and Itachi, handing them out to their respective partners. Kakuzu and Kisame each unbuttoned their cloaks and slipped their partners inside against their chests before buttoning their coats up again and wrapping their arms around them, effectively shielding the younger ones from the snowstorm.

Sasori removed his cloak entirely, not actually needing it for warmth and wrapped the thick black material around Deidara before lifting him up and carrying him out. Once he had made it out, they raced back to their leaders.

"KONAN, PEIN-SAMA! WE GOT THEM!" Kisame yelled, startling the two ninja. Konan ran forward and checked them, her eyes widening.

"Let's hurry and find proper shelter," she called sternly, "Zetsu found an inn not far from here. We have to get them warmed up before they freeze to death."

Everyone nodded and followed the blue haired kunoichi as she led them towards a small inn. The woman charged through the door and strode towards the front desk.

"We need four double rooms and plenty of extra blankets and hot water," she demanded. The elderly man and woman took one look at the three children and nodded, the man going to gather extra blankets and the woman showing them to their rooms. Konan placed three futons on the floor of one room.

"Right, get them out of those wet clothes and into dry ones," she ordered, "Sasori change those bandages on Deidara as well. Place them all on the beds and pile blankets on. Pein, get hot water bottles for them and place them between the blankets."

They all rushed around, following Konan's orders and making sure Deidara, Itachi and Hidan got warmed up. It was a nerve shredding several hours in which no one spoke as they waited for the youngest Akatsuki members to regain consciousness or at least be safe from freezing to death. The wind howled outside as snow battered against the windows, breaking the crushing silence.

Once colour had returned to their faces and their lips had lost the blue tinges, everyone relaxed a little.

"Thank god we got them back," Konan sighed, hugging Pein in tightly. He hugged her back, glaring at the snickering males, daring them to say anything. The elderly couple offered them all soup which everyone except Sasori gratefully accepted. As the others filed out of the room, the puppet master sat next to Deidara and stroked his hair.

"Glad to have you back brat," he smirked, running his wooden fingers through the golden tresses. Deidara stirred a little, his eyes cracking open slowly. He looked around, not recognising the surroundings and bolted up, just to feel a stab of pain.

"Ouch un," he whimpered, placing a hand on his chest. He looked around, his azure orbs falling on Sasori, who smirked. Deidara tilted his head in confusion.

"Dan...na un?" he questioned, brow furrowing slightly as he threw his arms around the puppet, tears falling quietly, "You came and got us yeah!"

Sasori chuckled a little and hugged the little bomber closer.

"Of course brat, we couldn't just leave you there," he replied, soothingly petting the blonde's head, "Though you three did a pretty good job of escaping without us."

Deidara giggled and nodded.

"Yeah, thank Tachi un," he said proudly, "He charged in and kicked Juunko's butt right before she was about to cut me open yeah!"

Sasori stiffened and growled.

"Cut you open?" he snarled, "No one is cutting you open brat! Only I'm allowed to knock you about!"

Deidara giggled and snuggled against Sasori, his eyes drooping. The red head smiled gently and sighed.

"Get some rest," he muttered, "You've been through a hell of an ordeal."

Deidara smiled and nodded, shutting his eyes and going rather limp in the puppet master's arms.

"Yeah…okay…Danna…un," he mumbled, falling asleep again. The redhead smiled and lay down on the futon with the young bomber, who clung to him tightly.

"Sleep well brat," he muttered.

* * *

Downstairs, Kisame and Kakuzu ate their food at lightning speed, eager to get back to the room before their partners woke up. Kisame grinned in a friendly manner at the inn keepers.

"Hey, may we have some soup and tea for the kids please?" he asked, "They're gonna be hungry when they wake up."

The couple smiled and nodded, leaving to get more bowls and cups of hot liquid. The shark ninja and the miser grabbed the trays with a quick thanks and made their way back to the room, with Konan who trailed behind them. She opened the door and gasped, squealing silently and bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Oh my god that is soooo cute!" she squeaked, pointing into the room. Kisame and Kakuzu peered in and saw Sasori, curled up on Deidara's bed, said blonde curled into a tiny ball against his wooden chest. Kisame 'awed' and Kakuzu just shrugged, though everyone knew he was squealing on the inside as well!

They placed the food trays down and resumed sitting around. Sasori lifted his head and glared at Konan.

"If you don't shut up, you'll wake him," he muttered grumpily. Konan just stuck her tongue out and watched them both doze.

"K-Kisame?" Itachi mumbled, rolling over to face the blue male. He grinned and opened his arms up.

"S'up kiddo?" he said, gasping a little when Itachi launched himself at his midriff.

"KISAME! I KNEW YOU GUYS WOULD COME! I TOLD THE OTHERS! I KNEW IT!" he yelled excitedly, hugging Kisame tightly, refusing to let go. Kisame laughed and hugged him back, trying to calm the ecstatic four year old.

During the commotion, Hidan woke up and looked around blearily. He caught sight of Kakuzu and grinned tiredly, padding over to him and hugging him tight.

"Thanks for saving our asses," he muttered, resting his head tiredly against his partner's chest. The stitched ninja rubbed his back as he snuggled against him.

"Never a problem Hidan," he replied softly.

Deidara and Sasori were up as well, all three of the four year olds wolfing down their soup and slurping up their tea.

"Damn, now that's a meal!" Itachi cheered. Hidan and Deidara nodded enthusiastically. The blonde turned to Kisame and Konan, his face looking stern.

"Kisame, you have to cook dinner when we get home and Konan, please make us waffles again un!" he said, smiling cutely. Itachi and Hidan joined in as well and the two blue haired ninja easily melted under the three sets of begging puppy dog eyes.

"Of course we will!" Kisame exclaimed, "Whatever you three want!"

Itachi, Hidan and Deidara cheered, as the four older ninja left to speak with Pein and Zetsu. Hidan and Deidara scooted over to Itachi and hugged him tight.

"I honestly thought we wouldn't make it," the raven murmured. Deidara shuddered and buried his face in his black as night hair. Hidan chuckled and wrapped his arms around the two smaller ninja.

"But we did! We're the fucking Akatsuki!" he smirked. Deidara and Itachi smiled a little at the Jashinist. Pretty soon, Deidara yawned and snuggled down under the covers of Itachi's bed. Hidan followed suite and they fell asleep with warm smiles and full stomachs.

This was the sight everyone else walked in on. Konan, Kisame and Zetsu's white half thought it was adorable and started bouncing on the spot, while Pein, Sasori, Kakuzu and Black Zetsu didn't seem too bothered although they were happy that their partners were finally back comfortable and safe where they belonged.

"So when should we go back home?" Sasori asked, fiddling with his cloak which he had put back on. Pein answered his question.

"We have requested that we have these rooms for a few days," he stated, seated cross-legged against a wall, "This will enable us to find any traces of the ones who took those three and will also allow them to build up some strength before trying to leave in this weather. I spoke to the elderly couple who say snowstorms like this can last for days."

Everyone nodded, agreeing with this decision and leaving to set up beds of their own. Kakuzu and Kisame shared a room, Konan and Pein shared another and Sasori and Zetsu had the final room. Zetsu left shortly after, leaving the puppet master alone. He took the opportunity to make a few adjustments to a puppet to pass the time.

It was very dark outside and had been for a few hours. Nearly everyone was asleep except for the puppet master and a certain miniature bomber.

Sasori was aware of the small child sneaking up on him; or attempting to at least. He didn't bother to look around when he spoke.

"What's wrong Deidara, you should be in bed," he said casually. He looked over his shoulder, lazy gaze falling on his partner, who was standing in the doorway with an oversized nightshirt and grey pyjama bottoms on. Deidara shuffled closer as he mumbled.

"I…I know un. I just w-was wondering if I could…sleep…with you yeah?" he looked up timidly as he asked his question. Sasori stared for a moment in surprise before nodding and quietly walking over and lifting him up.

"C'mon then," he muttered as he set the blonde down on the bed and slid under the covers with him. Deidara smiled and rested against Sasori's wooden chest as he fell asleep.

"I missed you un," he mumbled. Sasori smirked and hugged him tighter.

"Missed you too brat."

* * *

Itachi and Hidan awoke in the middle of the night to find Deidara missing. They looked around the room frantically, before spotting the door slightly ajar. Tiptoeing outside, they snuck over to Sasori's room and peeked in. They noticed Deidara fast asleep in Sasori's arms and thought of their own partners.

They nodded and snuck into Kakuzu and Kisame's room, slipping into their beds and cuddling close. Kisame stirred and looked down at Itachi, who grinned up in the dark.

"Sorry for waking you Kisa," he muttered, "I just wanna stay with you for tonight."

Kisame smiled back and hugged him close.

"You can stay for as long as you want," he replied. Hidan smiled at them and hugged his own partner whose arms subconsciously tightened around him. He smiled a little and sighed contentedly.

"Good night Hidan."

"Night fucker."

* * *

**_Does anyone else notice a small crack pairing just seeping into this story? Wierdly it's not a yaoi couple either which is rare for me as I love my shounen-ai!_**

**_Anyway, R&R folks! And again sorry for the wait._**


	16. Chapter 16

_**This just shows how generous I am (and how unthorough my proof reading is) that I'll upload more than one chapter in the space of fifteen minutes... Think of it as compensation for being so late!**_

_**This is sort of filler chapters at the moment before the plot moves on. Expect lots of fluff and tooth rotting sweetness (Rose is a sucker for it!)**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

"Danna, please don't go un!"

"Deidara stop being difficult! Stay with Konan!"

"No un, I wanna stay with you yeah!"

Sasori was at his nerve's end with the wailing blonde child. For the last fifteen minutes, he was trying to leave for a scouting mission with Kisame. The key word in that sentence being 'trying'. Deidara was refusing to let him go unless he took the bomber with him. The brat was clinging to his arm, crying his little heart out as Sasori tugged and pulled his arm, trying to escape the child's iron grip.

"Please Deidara, I have to do this mission," he said his tone full of frustration, "It's only for a short while."

Deidara hiccupped and let go, his head hanging low. Sasori frowned and knelt down, pulling him into a big hug.

"C'mon brat, what's really wrong?" he asked, curious and worried about the blonde's sudden clinginess. Deidara looked up sadly and bit his lip.

"I-i-it's just that last time you left…w-we were kidnapped un," he whimpered, "Please stay Danna I don't want you to go un!"

Sasori started to chuckle a little, causing Deidara to pout and give him a confused look.

"Deidara, I swear that nothing bad is going to happen to you," he promised, "I will personally make sure that Pein and Konan keep you, Itachi and Hidan completely safe because if they don't, I promise they will suffer dearly."

Deidara thought for a moment, his brow furrowing as he reluctantly nodded and hugged Sasori tight. The redhead smiled and released the blonde, holding his hand as he took him to Konan who was waiting with Kisame and Itachi who were having a similar problem.

"But Kisa!" Itachi whined, "Kakuzu doesn't have to go so why do you? It's not fair!"

Kisame chuckled and hugged the raven who clung to him like a limpet. The swordsman lifted him up and spun him around, causing Itachi to squeal with excitement.

"Kisa, I'm getting dizzy!" he exclaimed, giggling like mad. Kisame set him down and held out a blue pinkie finger.

"How about this kiddo," he said with a toothy grin, "I promise that I will come back to you safely tonight, with Sasori, and I'll even bring dango back with me."

Itachi's eyes sparkled with delight as he entwined his own pinkie finger with Kisame's.

"I'm gonna hold you to that Kisa!" he stated, "And if you don't keep your promise I'm gonna track you down and beat you up!"

Kisame chuckled deeply as he ruffled Itachi's hair.

"You do that kid," he beamed, standing up and grinning at Konan, "Keep them safe this time Konan-san."

The kunoichi nodded with a smile, hugging the raven and bomber who had run into her arms, both still a little sad by their partners leaving.

"Bye brat," Sasori called waving at the blonde, who waved back.

"Bye bye Danna, Kisame un," he called. Itachi waved as well, calling goodbye to the puppet and giving his partner a final friendly threat involving the Sharingan and a frying pan. Konan smiled down at them both.

"Come on boys, let's go and heal some of those injuries now," she said gently. Both the bomber and Uchiha nodded and followed her into their shared room where Hidan was sitting talking to Kakuzu.

"And I know I'm still immortal after that bitch cut me open and left me to bleed to death," Hidan announced proudly to a barely listening Kakuzu.

"That's nice Hidan," he said half-heartedly, "Konan, are those two ready to be treated?"

Konan nodded and ushered Deidara and Itachi into their room. Hidan grinned and waved.

"Hey Konan-chan!" he called happily, "Dei, Itachi we're going outside after you get fixed!"

The three exchanged smiles and sat quietly for Konan and Kakuzu. Itachi insisted that Deidara was healed first. The blonde squirmed around in discomfort as Kakuzu stitched up the cut on his chest.

"It hurts un," he whimpered, holding Konan's hand tightly as she cleaned his other cuts. She sighed and kissed his forehead.

"I know Dei-chan but it'll be over soon," she said gently, with a smile, "There see? All done."

The bomber nodded and scurried over to Hidan as Konan tried to catch Itachi. He ran around the room, giggling like Tobi as he zipped around, dodging the kunoichi's attempts to grab him.

"Itachi behave please!" she said sternly, "Or I will confiscate any dango that Kisame brings home."

Itachi's face fell and he quickly jumped into her arms.

"You wouldn't really do that right Konan-Chan?" he asked nervously, "You know I was only playing!"

Konan had to chuckle at his nervous grin as she sat him down in the spot Deidara had previously been in. He kept a brave face as Konan dabbed his scratches and cuts with antiseptic wash and covered them with band aids or bandages.

Once they were healed, Hidan dragged the younger two outside after getting bundled up in layers by Konan, who was following behind them.

"Hidan, why are we going outside un?" asked Deidara curiously. The Jashinist laughed happily and ran faster, still trailing them down the stairs of the inn.

"Because I like snow!" he announced, "We're going to play!"

Itachi cheered while Deidara grimaced a little at the prospects of playing in the cold snow. The old lady smiled at them as the kunoichi walked down the stairs with the three little ones.

"Oh they are so adorable," she beamed, smiling down at the three ninja who stuck close to Konan, nervous around the unknown woman. Konan sensed their discomfort and ushered them out the door.

"Yes they are aren't they?" she chuckled, "Forgive them; they are rather shy around strangers."

The lady nodded in understanding.

"Well, just have fun and I will have hot chocolate ready for your return then," she said smiling. Konan returned her smile and was promptly dragged out the door.

"C'mon, let's make a snowman!" Hidan yelled excitedly, "Then sacrifice it to Jashin-sama!"

Itachi cheered in agreement and ran off to make one. Konan smirked and sat down on a bench which was clear of snow. Deidara followed her shivering. The blue haired woman looked down at him.

"Dei-Chan, aren't you going to play?" she asked. The little blonde shook his head, teeth chattering.

"I-I d-don't l-l-like the c-c-c-cold un," he explained, shivering. Konan chuckled and pulled him into a hug to warm him up, causing a small giggle.

"C'mon Dei-Chan, snow is fun!" she stated playfully, "Look it's just like your art!"

She lifted some snow and they watched it melt in her gloved hand. Deidara's eyes sparkled as he watched.

"It is un!" he exclaimed excitedly, "Thanks Konan-chan un!"

She smiled gently as she watched the blonde child run off towards the others, who were well under way with their snowman. She sighed contentedly.

"What are you thinking?"

Konan looked up to see Pein walking towards her and sit down beside her. She almost giggled at the sight of her best friend wrapped up in a scarf, hat and gloves. She shook her head and looked back to their subordinates turned children.

"I'm just thinking that this whole situation isn't actually a bad thing," she replied quietly, looking into Pein's ringed eyes, which seemed to soften as she spoke. He smirked and nodded a little.

"I think I will agree with you this time," he murmured, "Everyone seems happier almost. Those three definitely are."

Konan chuckled a little and leaned into her leader.

"I'll secretly admit, I'm enjoying myself as well!" she confessed, "Never has it been so easy to annoy Sasori as it is now. He's become so attached to Deidara you'd think they were father and son or at least brothers! And Kisame is enjoying playing mother hen! Hidan seems more docile as well and he and Kakuzu have been getting along much better than they ever did before."

Pein smirked at the evil little grin sporting on Konan's face. He rested a hand on hers, making her blush a little.

"I never knew that your favourite hobby was irritating Sasori," he mused, "That's a rather dangerous hobby."

Konan laughed which brought a little smile to Pein's face. They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching Deidara, Hidan and Itachi engage in a snowball fight.

"I'll be sad when they are returned to normal," Konan mumbled, "Nagato, can't we…"

"No Konan, that isn't fair," Pein cut in, "We don't know if this jutsu will cause them to completely forget themselves and make them totally different people, or if they will even grow and develop normally. We can't risk that."

Konan nodded sadly.

"But they seem so happy," she muttered. Pein nodded and squeezed her hand gently.

"Don't worry Konan, they will still be happy when they are back to normal," he assured her, "If anything, we can make sure of that."

Konan smiled, sighing a little as she rested her head on Pein's shoulder, her eyes closing over.

"Yeah at least-ARGH!" she yelped as something cold smacked her in the face. She jumped up and saw Itachi laughing and pointing at her and Pein, who were both covered in snow.

"Oh you're gonna get it now!" she exclaimed, gathering up snow and hurling it at the raven. He ducked and the snowball knocked Hidan over. He rubbed the snow from his face and growled.

"This is war Konan-Chan!" he roared. Konan laughed triumphantly and pulled a slightly disgruntled Pein with her as she ran towards them, snow balls in each hand.

And so it began, an epic snow ball war, Pein and Konan, versus Hidan, Itachi and Deidara. It lasted for three hours until everyone was exhausted and the sun began to set. After lying on the ground for a few minutes, clothes soaking and cheeks flushed, Pein ordered everyone inside.

Deidara was the first one to dart in, swiftly followed by Itachi and Hidan. Pein extended a hand towards Konan and they walked back, hand in hand.

* * *

Sasori and Kisame trudged their way back to the inn, both feeling tired, even Sasori with his puppet body. They made their way upstairs and found their partners sound asleep.

"At least they're alright," Kisame chortled, walking towards Pein and Konan's room. They opened the door to see their leaders asleep in each other's arms. The shark and the puppet exchanged glances and shrugged. They walked off to their own rooms, swiftly being intercepted by Deidara and Itachi.

"You're back Danna un!" Deidara smiled sleepily, hugging the redhead. Sasori smirked a little and carried the bomber back to his room. Kisame did the same with the little raven as he looked like he would fall asleep at any second.

"Kisa," Itachi mumbled, "I want…that dango…for breakfast."

Kisame grinned and lay down with the child.

"Sure kiddo, that'll do."

* * *

**_Some PeinXKonan is always cute, I like it a lot! And yes, I love the pissing matches between Konan and Sasori._**

**_Oh and before I forget, I would love to start writing a One Piece fanfic so if anybody has written a story for this fandom, any advice would be wonderful on this topic! Private message me or leave a review with any tips, advice or even oneshot plots that you would like to see although keep in mind that I've only watched up to Nico Robin becoming a crew member so no spoilers please and I can't write any characters past that point in the anime since I would butcher them!_**

**_Review folks!_**


	17. Chapter 17

_**I'm heading to Cyprus in two days so I'll be gone from my computer. In advance I'm uploading several chapters to tide you all over for a week (although trying to satisfy the reader's thirst for chapters is like trying to make Luffy feel full!)**_

_**Anywho, enjoy!**_

* * *

The Akatsuki had been staying at the inn for roughly three days when Pein decided that it was time they went home. Itachi, Hidan and Deidara were very excited and bouncing the morning they were all due to leave.

"C'mon Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled, "Let's go!" He pulled on the miser's sleeve as he tried to drag him from the inn. The stitched ninja rolled his eyes and swung Hidan up onto his shoulders. The Jashinist giggled and pointed forward.

"I can see the base from here!" he exclaimed. Deidara and Itachi giggled from the arms of their partners as they began to run through the freezing snow. Deidara shivered and buried himself in Sasori's cloak.

"How long until we get outta here un?" he asked. Sasori smirked and patted his head.

"It'll be about a day and a half or so," he replied, "Don't worry brat, it won't be forever."

After several hours of travelling, the three young ones were showing signs of fatigue and Konan insisted that they all stopped. They made their way to a teashop and took up several tables. Sasori, Kisame and Kakuzu sat down with their partners in their laps. Deidara fell asleep almost instantly, whereas Hidan and Itachi tried really hard to stay awake but kept dozing off.

"Will we be stopping every single time they get tired?" Kisame queried, almost glaring at the blue haired woman who was smiling adoringly at the three children.

"Well I don't want them passing out!" she stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Everyone sighed collectively.

"We are carrying them, they won't pass out, they'll just sleep on the go," Sasori said, shifting his grip on Deidara as the blonde snuggled against him, yawning cutely and sending Konan off on a tangent about his adorableness. Sasori did his best to protect his partner from the crazy woman.

"Can we go now?" the puppet master begged Pein while using one arm to hold off Konan and the other to hold onto Deidara. The pierced leader nodded and Sasori bolted for the door. Deidara woke up and looked around, blinking.

"What happened un?" he asked blearily. Sasori sighed and patted his head.

"Nothing brat, go back to sleep."

"Oh un. Okay Danna."

Sasori was beginning to wonder how the hell Deidara always managed to sleep through the battles he had with Konan over him. He was actually grateful for not having the blonde witness those moments. He didn't want the brat teasing him when he was returned to normal.

"Hey Kisa, can I walk for a bit, my legs are getting stiff," Itachi requested. The swordsman grinned and set the little raven on the ground, steadying him a bit. Kakuzu did the same for Hidan. Sasori simply carried his 'bundle of joy and pyromaniac', earning jealous glares from a certain person.

"Dei sleeps a lot," Itachi remarked, bouncing along, swinging his arms. Hidan looked up and grinned.

"Yeah he does, but he's more fun when he's awake!" he exclaimed, running around Sasori.

"Well, he's younger than you I think," Kisame said, putting a finger to his chin with a thoughtful expression, "Do you think it's the jutsu or the travelling?"

Everyone shrugged as they walked on. Itachi and Hidan enjoyed crunching their way through the snow, giggling as they made little footprints and jumping in the deeper piles.

A few hours later, they were reaching the edge of the Land of Snow and were about to head into Yuu.

"Everyone stop," Pein demanded. Everyone abruptly halted, jolting Deidara awake. He whimpered and looked around, rubbing his eyes. The Leader turned to all of his subordinates.

"We can't go through Fire Country," he stated, "We are hunted down like dogs by Konoha. They won't spare any of us just because there are children with us. We have to go around."

"But wouldn't it be safer to just go straight to the base?" Konan asked, "We could just outrun the Konoha ninja."

Pein closed his eyes, pondering this for a moment. They were constantly in enemy territory, just waiting for an attack. The only safe place was Ame, on the other side of Fire Country. Of course they could try crossing all of the other borders, running into various territories and having to constantly dodge patrols.

Or run through Fire Country, possibly getting ambushed by Akatsuki obsessed morons convinced that the sun shined out of their arses… or Konoha ninja as they were formally known.

"Right we will go through Fire Country," he announced, "But _everyone _is to keep vigilant; eyes and ears open and keep up."

Everyone nodded, Kakuzu and Kisame scooping up their partners and together they all shot off through Yuu and towards the border.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sasori asked quietly. Pein shrugged and kept going.

"Either way, we are in constant danger," he said simply. A stab of guilt hit his gut as he realised this.

Everyone was in constant danger for bearing the black cloaks with red clouds. Being rogue ninja before, they all knew how dangerous their lives were. Being Akatsuki gave them all a sense of security, no matter how fragile that illusion was. But with that small security came the huge bounties on each of their heads, not to mention the almost irrational hatred from the five nations.

Sighing, Pein ordered them to speed up, allowing them to stop for the night if they covered enough ground.

"We should stop soon," Kakuzu called, eyeing the setting sun. Pein followed his gaze and stopped, landing on the ground. Everyone followed him down and they made their way into a small space between the trees.

"Right, Sasori and I will keep watch," he said, "After that, Kisame will swap with me, then Kakuzu."

Everyone nodded and they set up a small fire, in the middle of the campsite. Everyone found comfortable places to sleep; Hidan, Itachi and Deidara decided to sleep in their partners' laps, each sporting rather cheeky little grins.

* * *

"Danna, I need to go un," Deidara mumbled, pulling on Sasori's cloak. The puppet blinked a little, cocking his head. Deidara rolled his eyes and whispered in his partner's ear.

"I need the bathroom," he muttered, cheeks painting a light red. Sasori smirked and nodded, standing up and taking the blonde's tiny hand in his wooden one. Pein rolled his eyes and leaned back against the tree he was sitting beside, absently playing with some of Konan's hair as she rested her head on his lap, one of her hands entwined with his own.

The two artists walked for about ten minutes until they were a good distance from the camp. Sasori stopped by a big tree.

"C'mon brat," Sasori murmured, "I'll wait here, you go do your business."

Deidara smiled and zipped around a tree and a little further to go behind a bush. Sasori listened to his movement and kept a fix on his chakra, as he waited where he stood.

So preoccupied by the brat's location, he didn't notice the ones descending on the camp.

Pein did. Waking everyone up, he ordered Kakuzu and Kisame to run on ahead and he and Konan began to attack the oncoming ninja.

They two leaders made quick work of the ninja, who turned out to be Chuunin running border patrols.

"Shit, where are Sasori and Dei-Chan?" Konan demanded, looking around urgently. Pein shrugged.

"Deidara needed the bathroom," he stated, "They'll be fine, we need to find the other four."

Konan nodded and sent Zetsu to find Sasori.

"Bring them straight to us, we'll meet them up across the border," she said urgently. Zetsu nodded and sank into the ground as Konan shot off after Pein and the other four.

* * *

Deidara finished doing his business and began to walk back to Sasori, being hit by a wave of fatigue again. He yawned widely and stumbled back towards the puppet master, who scooped him up and made his way back towards the camp. He frowned when he noticed an absence of chakra. Slipping through the trees, he almost immediately hid Deidara's face in his cloak, shielding his eyes from the carnage.

Several mangled bodies were strewn across the ground where they had been sleeping not twenty minutes ago. Several blood soaked paper shuriken were lying carelessly on the ground indicating that Konan had killed a few of them.

"D-Danna, where is e-everyone un?" Deidara whimpered, his eyes shut tight, clinging to the puppet. Sasori shook his head.

"I don't know brat but we need to find them," he replied.

"They went ahead. **Bastards ambushed us." **

Sasori turned around to see Zetsu rising from the ground, white half looking concerned, black have eyeing the bodies with a hungry grin. Deidara peeked at the plant man and waved shyly.

"Hi Zetsu-san un," he mumbled nervously, "P-please don't eat me."

Sasori smirked and stroked the blonde's hair as Zetsu chuckled.

"Don't worry Dei-Chan, **There's more meat on them anyway**," he smirked, making his way to the bodies. Sasori cringed and covered Deidara's eyes and ears as Zetsu began to make quick work of the bodies. The blonde trembled, still able to hear a little of the tearing of flesh, the gnashing of teeth and the splattering of blood on the floor.

"Filling! **Nice and juicy, not too tough yes!"** Zetsu chuckled to himself, turning back to the artists, "We have to meet up with everyone across the border. **They were attacked here and we scattered. **We were told to wait for you."

Sasori nodded and together, they raced for Fire Country, hoping to catch up with the others.

* * *

"What about Dei?" Itachi screeched, "Why did you leave them behind?"

Ever since Itachi had woken up and found out that they had run from the campsite without the little blonde bomber, he had thrown a fit. Everyone knew he cared for Deidara and had grown a brotherly attachment to him, but he was threatening to use the Sharingan on them all for leaving the artists behind.

"Don't worry Itachi-Chan, Sasori and Zetsu will keep him safe and he will be back with us in no time," Kisame said, a reassuring smile fixed in place, although inside he was very worried for all of his comrades. The young raven bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as he hugged the Sharkman.

"I'm scared Kisa!" he said quickly, tears welling in his eyes, "W-we're so close to K-Konoha and if we get caught, they could h-hurt you guys."

Kisame chuckled a little and wiped his partner's tears away with his thumb.

"Don't worry kid, we didn't get into Akatsuki on good looks alone!" he announced, drawing a few nervous giggles.

"Although it did help," he added with a wink, "We are Akatsuki because we are tough shinobi, better than the rest of them! The best of the best! That's why you and Deidara got in to!"

Itachi mulled this over in his head for a moment before smiling and nodding, throwing his arms around Kisame's neck.

"Thanks Kisa!" he exclaimed. The swordsman lifted the Uchiha up and whirled him around, drawing delighted squeals from the four year old. Konan and Pein crashed through the trees, both panting a little.

"Zetsu…is with the other two," Konan stated, "They should…be catching up…soon."

"Right, we will stay here as long as possible," Pein said sternly, "If we have to move however, we move on, with or without them. They should be able to manoeuvre easily though since Zetsu is a sensory type ninja."

Everyone nodded, though some more reluctantly than others. Itachi glared at his leader, onyx pools shining with determination as he plotted the best way to endure his friend's safety. Hidan noticed his looked and shot him a smile and a nod which was quickly returned.

They were in the same boat after all.

* * *

The stitches in his neck were driving him crazy as he resisted the urge to scratch them. His blood boiled at the thought of the child who had done this to him

"You should consider yourself lucky," snarled a female voice, "Any deeper and he would have killed you! Now you failed me once, do not do so again! I will attempt to salvage this situation…thankfully, the jutsu is taking its course just as it was supposed to. Now we can continue to watch the Akatsuki and soon…very soon I can watch them suffer as I did!"

His faced contorted into a malicious smirk as the woman turned away from him and stalked off through the dark.

* * *

**_Three guess to who the 'mysterious' man and woman at the end are and the first two don't count!_**

.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Here is chapter 18.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

_A small figure was stumbling through the woods towards him. Focusing his keen eyes, he recognised the small form, the startling blue eyes and the flowing blonde hair. What scared him was the fearful and pained face, the dirt and the blood._

"_T-Ta-Tachi un. Y-you left me…why…why did you do it?"_

_Itachi shook his head, stepping closer, but something was pulling at his clothes, holding him back._

"_I'm sorry Dei, they said you'd be safe," he whimpered, "Th-they promised me."_

_Deidara's face contorted and he fell to his knees, the ground beneath both of them turning to liquid. Itachi looked down and realised he was going to drown in blood._

"_Danna is gone," Deidara hissed, anger flashing in his sapphire orbs, "He was murdered before me, a blade through his heart! It's your fault Itachi!"_

_The raven shook his head desperately, his eyes flooding with tears as blood flooded into his mouth as he screamed._

"_I'm sorry Dei, I'm so sorry!"_

* * *

Kisame focused all his attention on trying to awaken the thrashing and screaming child, asleep on the ground. Itachi was trying his best to escape the shark man's grasp and gouge his own eyes out at the same time, all while screaming 'I'm sorry' over and over.

"Itachi, listen to me, WAKE UP" Kisame yelled, slapping the Uchiha gently, but hard enough to wake him up. Snapping his eyes open, Itachi revealed his Sharingan on full blast as he glared up at Kisame.

"YOU MADE ME LEAVE HIM!" he screamed, tears of blood falling from his eyes mixed with actual tears, "HIS DANNA IS DEAD AND HE WAS HURT! YOU PROMISED HE'D BE FINE!"

Kisame hugged the sobbing child to his chest as he soothingly patted Itachi's head, running his finger through the soft midnight tresses.

"Hush Itachi, it was a bad dream, I promise, just a nightmare," he murmured, "In fact, we've just stopped to allow Sasori and Dei-chan time to catch up."

Itachi's hysterical sobbing turned to hiccups and ragged breaths as he cuddled as close as possible to his partner. Everyone sighed with relief as Itachi calmed down. Hidan cuddled against Kakuzu, eyeing the Uchiha with worry. Tugging on the miser's sleeve, he moved closer to the partners. Kisame grinned a little at him and he patted Itachi on the shoulder. The young weasel latched onto the Jashinist and they sat together under a tree, waiting for the artists to arrive.

* * *

Deidara clung to Sasori's back like a baby monkey as they followed Zetsu. He hid his face in the redhead's back so that the branches didn't cut his face from the speed they were going at.

"They are five miles away," Zetsu called, "**We should be there in half an hour if we stay at this speed.**"

Sasori nodded and swiftly dodged a low hanging branch, flipping over it. Deidara felt a little sick from all the motion. He breathed deeply and as slowly as he could, fighting off the urge to be sick all down the back of Sasori's cloak.

The redhead would kill him for that!

"Sasori, stop and hide," Zetsu hissed urgently, sinking into a tree trunk. The puppet master cursed and scanning the area quickly, spotting a hollow trunk. Leaping down, he swung the blonde into his arms and hid him from sight.

"Stay here, stay hidden and for the love of whatever god seems appropriate, stay quiet!" Sasori murmured before racing off into the forest. Deidra did as instructed and curled up, shutting his eyes tight, hugging his knees.

"He's headed that way!"

"Don't let him escape! He's a threat!"

"On it!"

Several figures passed by the tree, not one of the ninja glancing in as the little blonde pressed himself into the back of the trunk. Silence passed for several minutes as he waited for his Danna, tears pricking his eyes at the fear of him not returning at all.

After a painstakingly long time, the bomber heard several terrible screams issuing from the direction Sasori had led the trackers in. Poking his head out of the trunk, he fearfully looked around, not seeing anything.

"D-Danna un?" he mumbled, tears beginning to fall. He crawled back into the hollow and lay down, hugging his knees.

"Danna, please come back soon un," he whispered meekly into the darkness.

* * *

Running from the brat's hiding spot was easy enough, as long as none of them decided to check that area. Still, he made sure that all of the chakra signatures he had felt earlier were still following him.

Thankfully they were.

Dropping down to the ground, he waited for the trackers to catch up. Leaning lazily against a broad tree trunk, he inspected his surroundings, devising a strategy for taking them all out in a few moves.

With various puppets hidden around the place, he stood near the edge of the clearer ground and closer to the undergrowth, awaiting his prey to fall into position. The sound of shouting and the snapping of twigs on the ground announced their arrival.

"Halt! You are under arrest for the unlawful crossing between the border of Yuu and the Fire Country!" shouted the captain who could have been a new Jounin based on his arrogance and confident tone.

Sasori rolled his eyes as they advanced towards him. He raised his hand, drawing questioning looks. Wiggling a few of his fingers, his puppets clacked into life and unleashed a deadly rain of poisoned senbon down on the team of five ninja. They released pain filled screams as they dropped one by one to the ground, nothing more than mutilated lumps of flesh coated in spines.

Sasori smirked and sealed all of his puppets away in their scrolls. Focusing in on Deidara's location, he breathed a sigh of relief when he found that it hadn't moved and it was relaxed. Moving as fast as possible, he reached the hiding place and poked his head in to see the blonde curled up in a small ball.

"Hey, Deidara, I'm back," murmured the puppet. Deidara looked up, blinking his eyes a few times and smiling weakly, hugging Sasori tightly.

"P-please don't leave me a-alone again un," he whimpered. Sasori chuckled a little and rubbed his back, lifting him up to start moving on towards the others again.

"Don't worry brat, I'll always come back," he stated. Deidara smiled a little more and buried his face in Sasori's neck as they raced off for the group.

* * *

"They should be here in about five minutes," Pein announced, "Their chakra is moving steadily towards us."

Everyone let out a breath they didn't even know that they were holding. True to his word, Sasori appeared, landing a little awkwardly on the ground, Deidara held firmly in his arms.

"Dei!" Itachi exclaimed, running towards the blonde, who was set down on the ground, next to his Danna. When he caught sight of the raven, he smiled brightly and hugged him tightly.

"You're alright," Itachi mumbled, snuggling his face in the bomber's hair, who giggled and nuzzled back.

"Of course, I had my Danna with me un!" he said proudly, waving at the puppet and tugging on his sleeve, "He got rid of the bad guys!"

Pein looked expectantly at the redhead who shrugged.

"We were followed by five ninja, so I hid the brat somewhere, lured them away and killed them," he replied casually, laying a hand on the blonde child's head to stop him from bouncing up and down with glee. This satisfied everyone and they began to move on, Kakuzu, Kisame and Sasori scooping up their partners and shooting into the trees.

* * *

They had been running for three days straight when they became rather close to Konoha.

"Right everyone, I was thinking that we should split up here," Pein stated, stopping next to a small river. Naturally the four children wanted to play in the water.

Those four being Hidan, Deidara, Itachi _and _Kisame.

"Don't go in too deep!" Konan shouted to them, shaking her head, but a small smile was present on her face. Pein rolled his eyes and turned back to the more sensible Akatsuki members.

"Right, I think we should all take different routes around Konoha," he said matter of factly, "Konan, if you go with Sasori and Deidara, the kid can create a bird to fly you over; Zetsu can go with Hidan and Kakuzu while they take one route and then I can go with Kisame and Itachi while we go another."

Everyone nodded, agreeing. In smaller groups, it was easier to manoeuvre and hide from the enemy. Once everyone was done resting and the kids had finished playing, Pein split them into their groups.

Itachi was not impressed about being separated from not only Deidara this time but Hidan as well. Thankfully, he was encouraged to behave after a lot of reassurance from everyone.

Sasori was rather disgruntled that he now had to share his brat with Konan who was thrilled about being with them, instantly whisking Deidara away from the puppet and settling him in her own lap to comb out the tangles in his damp hair. Sasori just sat there and sulked, to which Deidara giggled.

"Don't worry Danna, you're still my favourite," he whispered in the puppet's ear. Sasori smirked a little, before his face turned completely neutral and he pretended like he couldn't care less. Deidara knew the truth though.

"Right everyone, let's get ready to leave now," Pein said loudly, proud to be in command of them all for the short while, "Deidara make a bird and Sasori…if Konan is harmed in anyway, I will chop you and your puppet collection up and use you all for fire wood."

After a chuckling Konan and a disgruntled Sasori reassured a rather distressed Deidara that this was not going to happen, a bird was created big enough to hold both Sasori and Konan, with Deidara in Sasori's lap.

Everyone watched as the bird took off and flew overhead, Deidara and Konan cheering as they flew higher, Sasori looking almost queasy if that was possible.

"Right, we'll meet up when we are at least a day away from the other side of Konoha," Pein said, motioning for Kisame to follow him, Itachi rested on his back, "See you on the other side."

Kakuzu lifted up Hidan and told him to hold on tight. The Jashinist smiled and wrapped his arms around his partner's neck and his legs around his chest. With a nod to Zetsu, they shot off in another direction and continued the mission of getting back to the base unharmed.

* * *

_**A couple more chapters will be uploaded soon.**_

_**R&R guys, much appreciated.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Here's the next one.**_

* * *

"Can we stop soon?"

Konan and Deidara snapped their gaze onto the puppet master as he asked if they could _stop_, therefore _waiting _to move on again. Nevertheless, the blonde was internally grateful that it wasn't him who had to ask, as he was getting rather tired after using his chakra for five hours start.

They had made good progress in those five hours and were well on their way to passing right over Konoha in roughly a day.

"We can stop outside of that village," Konan pointed over to a small cluster of neatly arranged buildings, "Land over there Dei-Chan."

Deidara steered the bird as directed by Konan and landed the creation gracefully on the ground, before sighing with relief and slumping back against Sasori's stomach. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, as the redhead lifted him up and hoisted his small form onto his back.

Konan smiled at the pair and led the way towards the little village she had seen.

They entered the village, side by side and scanned the street for a restaurant. Deidara helped and pointed to a small café to their left.

"Ooohhh, can we go there Danna un?" he asked excitedly. Sasori raised an eyebrow at his excitement over a café but shrugged it off and set Deidara down. Konan held the blonde's hand as they walked towards it, Sasori staying ready in case of attacks.

He opened the door for Konan and his brat and followed them inside.

It was a friendly atmosphere and the place was buzzing with people holding conversations in small booths. The trio made their way towards a booth in the back and waited to be served. A bubbly young waitress with chocolate brown curls bounced over to them, smiling brightly.

"Hey y'all, can I take your order?" she asked, whipping out a small notebook and pen, winking at Deidara who giggled. Sasori shook his head.

"Nothing for me thanks," he muttered, trying to get Deidara to stay still and pick something, "What do you want brat?"

The blonde thought critically before choosing his dish.

"Ummm, bakudan please un!" he said, giving the girl a bright smile. Safe to say she squealed over him and offered free dango for both the little cutie and his lucky parents.

Konan and Sasori glanced at each other, red faced and spluttered indignantly.

After taking Konan's order of green tea, the waitress merrily skipped away, leaving a scowling Sasori and a steaming Konan. Deidara just sat happily, playing with some clay that wasn't infused with chakra.

"I can't believe she thought we were a couple," Konan snorted, pretending to puke. Sasori growled and sat back in his seat, glaring at the blunette as she busied herself by teaching Deidara how to fold a crane.

Sasori did have to wonder how the hell the waitress saw any resemblance to either himself or Konan in the brat. With a shrug he just figured everyone would jump to the same conclusion when they say a pair of people with a small child.

"If he was our kid he should have purple hair," he muttered under his breath, "And be admitted to a mental hospital."

The waitress returned with their orders a few minutes later and gasped at the sight of all the paper animals and flowers littering the table. Deidara held out a yellow paper flower for the waitress.

"This one would like pretty in your hair!" he said proudly. The brunette was thrilled and rewarded the blonde with a kiss on the cheek.

As Deidara and Konan ate, the kunoichi and the puppet shared a concerned look.

There was barely anything of their previously head strong, confident bomber left now. He had been reduced to a sweet innocent child who clung to his Danna like a limpet and was afraid of being alone. They feared the same of Itachi and Hidan.

* * *

"I'm bored."

Twitch

"I'm still bored."

Twitch.

"I'm still really bored."

Twitch.

"I'm still really really bored."

Twitch twitch.

"I'm still really, really, really, really, really-"

"SHUT UP ITACHI!"

The Uchiha pouted at the pierced leader as the final vein in his forehead popped out rather impressively.

"If you are so bored then find a way to entertain yourself," Pein stated irritably, wondering how the hell Kisame had been putting up with the little demon child for so long. The swordsman just chuckled heartily along with Itachi who was sitting on his shoulders.

"Itachi-Chan, please stop encouraging Pein to murder you," Kisame said merrily, playfully swatting for the child's head. Pein just grumbled to himself and walked behind the pair as they nattered away happily oblivious to the thoughts and concerns swirling through Pein's mind.

Itachi now had lost most of himself to his childish version. The only remaining traits of the Uchiha were his fierce loyalty and his protective nature although it had been redirected from his brother Sasuke to Deidara. A thought sparked.

"Itachi," Pein called, "Do you know a boy called Sasuke?"

Itachi shut his mouth almost immediately, frowning with confusion as he thought over the question.

"Hmmm…I feel like I should…but I'm sorry I don't think I know anyone called Sasuke," he stated, although uncertainly, "Should I know him?"

Pein shrugged and shook his head.

"No I was just wondering," he replied, although his answer didn't ease Itachi's mind. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had forgotten something very important. But his memory was fuzzy. Like a dream.

"Kisa, I'm really tired can we stop please?" he asked quietly. Kisame glanced to Pein for approval which he gave although grudgingly. They stopped next to a small stream and sat themselves down on a cluster of rocks jutting out of the ground.

Itachi lay his head down on Kisame's arm as he mulled over what Pein had asked him.

Sasuke…the name was _so _familiar to him and yet he couldn't put his finger on it. His head began to hurt as he thought hard. It was something important. The fact that he forgot it made his eyes tear up. He had a feeling he was betraying someone.

Kisame glanced down and was startled by the sight of the tears rolling down the raven's pale cheeks.

"Hey, why the sad face kiddo?" he asked, pulling the raven into his lap. He wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb and allowed Itachi to cuddle him as he answered.

"I can't remember something and it was important," he whimpered, "I'm so bad to have forgotten it!"

Kisame petted his hair soothingly. Even without knowing it, he was punishing himself over his little brother. How it made Kisame's blood boil with anger towards that little duck butt asshole who did nothing but brood around Konoha and cause Itachi to suffer from his guilt.

"Itachi, you're not a bad person at all," he assured the sobbing child, "You're one of the best and most selfless people, I have ever met and you need to remember that."

Itachi rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, hiccupping a little. He looked up at the swordsman with a small shy smile.

"R-really?" he queried, latching onto the shark who gave a throaty chuckle and hugged his partner back.

"Of course Itachi-Chan!"

Pein watched the exchange from a few metres away. He smirked and closed his eyes intent on having a little nap.

_Who knew these guys could be so good with kids?_

* * *

"Hmm, we will need to make a detour soon," Zetsu stated, "**We sense Konoha ninja ahead of us**."

"How many?" Kakuzu asked, hoisting Hidan higher onto his back. The Jashinist tightened his grip around Kakuzu's neck as they swerved sharply to the left and hopped down onto the path.

"They will probably be sweeping the area if they have received Intel that the Akatsuki is in Fire Country," Zetsu stated, "**We cannot linger for long. **That's true, it's best we don't stop until we are certain we are alone and safe to do so."

Hidan sighed irritably as they raced through the forest. His legs were cramping up and he was hungry.

"Kuzu, I'm hungry," he mumbled, hearing his stomach growl miserably. Kakuzu shook his head towards the question.

"I'm sorry Hidan, we have to keep moving right now," he explained, "But once we are safe we can get you something to eat."

Hidan nodded and shut his eyes, pressing himself against his partner's back. Kakuzu was being so much nicer ever since they had been rescued. It brought a smile to his face, being cared for.

"Okay," he mumbled, his eyes drooping. Kakuzu smirked and followed Zetsu along the path.

"**Shit**," hissed the plant man, "They've caught wind of us! **Bastard trackers!**"

"No cussing in front to Hidan, he just stopped that crap!" Kakuzu growled, "Where are the trackers?"

"North east of us, two miles away," Zetsu replied, "**We will have to try and outrun them or fight."**

"How many?"

"A four man cell, **a ninja dog**, three Genin, **one is a Hyuuga**, one Jounin. **Anbu will arrive soon to back them up.**"

"We can take out them easily," Kakuzu snorted, "No point in trying to get away from a dog and a Hyuuga. Can you take Hidan, I'll fight them off."

Hidan's eyes snapped open and he tightened his grip.

"No, don't leave me again!" he exclaimed, "Plus Zetsu will eat me!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes and handed the squirming four year old over to Zetsu. He took the Jashinist and went on ahead. Kakuzu turned around and focused his chakra, finding the enemy almost immediately. He opened his eyes and raced off in that direction.

"Zetsu you asshole, go after him!" he screamed, "Don't leave him, I need to help him!"

Zetsu shook his head and had to tighten his grip on Hidan as he attempted to wriggle out of his grip.

"Hidan-Chan, please stay still, **Kakuzu's hardly gonna die**, He's fighting a bunch of Genin," he explained, attempting to soothe the child. Hidan grunted and hugged the ninja.

"He'll be back right?" he mumbled. Zetsu nodded.

"We will wait for him here," he stated, "He will find us after he has sorted out those brats."

Hidan nodded miserably.

Kakuzu leapt his way through the trees back towards Hidan and Zetsu. He had managed to wound all but one of the ninja who backed off to retreat to Konoha. Unfortunately, he had lost one of his hearts in the process.

Growling a little, he made it back to the pair, to be greeted by an ecstatic Hidan.

"Kuzu you're back, are you alright? They didn't hurt you?" he exclaimed, looking over the male. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and ruffled the child's hair.

"Don't worry kid I'm fine," he drawled, as the child hugged him. Hidan's eyes widened when he set his ear against his partner's chest. There were only four heart beats not five.

"You're missing a heartbeat," he whimpered, "You got hurt! You didn't tell me!"

He glared up at Kakuzu who shrugged and knelt down.

"It's nothing, I can easily replace it," he stated dryly, "there was no need to worry you like this."

Hidan felt tears well up in his eyes as he hugged his partner tight.

"Thank you Kakuzu," he mumbled, "But don't lose any more hearts over me. Promise."

"I promise kid," Kakuzu replied, glaring at a snickering Zetsu, "Shut it plant."

* * *

_**I think Rose has a secret liking for the crack pairing SasoKonan...it's pretty cute I suppose. Anyone else looking forward to the new Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution game? Apparently there is gonna be fifty minutes of footage like an OVA kinda thing, some of which is supposedly unseen Akatsuki footage...I don't really know much about it but it sounds pretty exciting! If you know anything else about it, let me know cause I'm interested! **_

_**R&R guys.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Hey I'm back from Cyprus. It was pretty nice but I gained a load of weight since we went all inclusive...all food and booze was free for me...now you understand! Anyway, here you are chapter twenty.**_

_**And thank you very much to W(Guest) who took the time to review every chapter so far and thanks for the amusing puns :3 And my sister and I too share similarities with Sasuke and Itachi as she often tries to kill me for being more awesome than she is! :D Just kidding...she's better than me in every way sadly...better grades, prettier, thinner, more athletic...but I actually have friends cause I'm nicer :3 **_

_**Anway, on with the fic!**_

_**I own nothing.**_

* * *

"We'll be flying over Konoha in a minute," Konan stated, looking over the landscape, "We need to mask our chakra from them. Dei-Chan can you fly us higher?"

The blonde nodded and focused his chakra, making the bird fly higher into the clouds. Sasori groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, gripping Deidara tighter. The blonde giggled and rested his small hands over Sasori's wooden ones, which were wrapped around his stomach and shoulders.

"Don't worry Danna un," he giggled, "I won't let us fall; right Konan-san yeah?"

Konan chuckled and ruffled the blonde's hair making him laugh happily.

They flew through the clouds for half an hour, until Deidara dropped down a little to survey the land below. Konan checked over the sides since Sasori was…preoccupied with keeping his eyes closed.

"Dei-Chan, speed up a little," Konan urged, "We're almost over the village and we don't want anyone to notice us."

"B-but Konan-san, I'm running out of chakra un," he stammered, "I'll run out if I go much faster yeah."

Konan nodded, feeling rather exposed. She peered over the edge, hoping against hope that no one decided to look up and admire the beautiful weather.

Deidara fed more of his chakra into the bird, attempting to level out how fast he could go without sapping up the rest of his chakra. He sped up slightly, using wind currents to speed up a bit more but it was exhausting work.

"How much l-longer Konan-san un?" he asked, his voice straining a little. Sasori snapped his eyes open, noticing something was off in the child. He was sweating a little with the strain and he was shaking.

"Just a few more minutes Dei-Chan, then we can land," Konan called reassuringly. Deidara nodded, exhaling sharply as he focused with all his might. Sasori rubbed his arms soothingly, murmuring encouragement.

"Dei-chan, we're getting lower," Konan said urgently, "Just one more minute, we are almost over the final wall."

Sasori risked a glance and sure enough, they were at the edge of the village and flying over a huge stone wall. He pulled back and rested his forehead against the back of Deidara's head.

"I had no idea you got motion sickness Sasori," Konan stated casually, a smirk clear on her face. The puppet snapped his head up, a frown firmly in place.

"Shut up, so what if I can?" he growled. The female Akatsuki member shrugged.

"Oh just rather surprising that the _emotionless_ puppet master can get sick from flying around," she said giggling sadistically.

"G-guys…un."

"Shut up Konan, I just don't enjoy flying alright?"

"Alright, alright, don't get all strung up, pardon the pun."

"Umm…un."

"Oh shut the hell up, that wasn't even funny!"

"Oh it was rather amusing actually."

"We're…going down…un."

The puppet and paper artist bother kept squabbling as Deidara slumped forward in his Danna's arms, passed out from exhaustion. The bird tilted sharply and hurtled towards the ground. Konan screamed and grabbed Sasori's hand as he held onto Deidara.

They both jumped from the bird and landed on the wall of Konoha. Quickly adjusting the small limp body to carry him bridal style, Sasori swiftly followed Konan as she ran down the wall and into the forest surrounding the huge village.

"How could we not have realised he was exhausted?" Konan demanded, "We really would make crappy parents!"

"Good thing I never planned on reproducing," Sasori remarked, shuddering at the thought.

Konan flashed a grin over her shoulder at the puppet master.

"Yeah and we don't need any more grumpy gingers running around!" she teased. Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't know you and Pein had discussed children!" he drawled, a smirk appearing on his face. Konan glared at him, before shooting up unto the trees. Sasori leapt up to join her.

"I don't think anyone noticed us," he stated, searching the surrounding area. Konan nodded doing the same.

"I think you're right, we can stop here," she called, dropping to the ground again and walking towards the edge of a lake. Sasori set Deidara down and checked him for any injuries.

"Is he alright?" Konan asked nervously, crouched down on the child's other side. Sasori nodded and checked his forehead.

"He will need at least two days of rest," he stated, "A child his current age shouldn't be exhausting all of their chakra like that. I'm amazed he lasted as long as he did."

Konan nodded and pulled out their canteens to fill up. The water in the lake was crystal clear, sunlight dancing on the surface, creating a shimmering effect. Konan sighed contentedly, a small smile forming on her face.

"It's nice to get out of the office," she stated, "I miss going on missions."

Sasori smirked, "Well ask Pein if you can come with me and the brat. He's always complaining that I make crappy company."

Konan laughed and stroked the blonde's fringe.

"I'm sure he doesn't mean it," she uttered, "He likes you. And you're wrapped around his little finger!"

"Am not!"

Konan doubled over with laughter at the puppet master's outburst. His face was set in outrage but humour danced in his eyes.

"Oh come on, when have you ever denied him anything?" she queried, "Face it Sasori, you've got a major soft spot for that kid."

Sasori scoffed but didn't answer as he glanced down at Deidara's peaceful face. His wooden fingers found their way into the child's blonde locks subconsciously.

"So what if I do?" he remarked quietly, "You have a soft spot for all of them."

Konan chuckled and nodded, patting the smaller male's head, much to his displeasure.

"Even you sweetheart, even you."

* * *

Pein sneezed rather violently as he walked along next to Kisame who was giving Itachi a shoulder ride. The little Uchiha giggled at the rather dishevelled leader as he scratched his itchy nose.

"Someone must be talking about me," Pein muttered irritably. Itachi leaned over to inspect his head. He shot a small glare at the child.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. Itachi grinned and pointed.

"Checking your ears," he replied.

Pein blinked.

"Ummm, why?"

Itachi blinked a few times.

"Well if someone is talking about you then your ears will warm up," Itachi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And the ear that is red shows how a person is talking about you! Left for love and right for spite! See?"

Pein pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That's…very interesting," he replied, "Now let's move on."

He strode ahead of the partners as they snickered behind his back.

"It was his left ear!" Itachi whispered into the swordsman's ear. He nodded, chuckling to himself.

"Guess Konan is boring Sasori to death with her relationship issues," he suggested. Itachi giggled harder and nuzzled his hair, to smother his giggles. Pein whipped around, eye twitching and lips stretching into an attempted 'smile'.

"Hey Itachi, Kisame…run."

The pair blinked.

"What?"

"I said run."

"Oh…right."

"KISAME!"

"ON IT!"

Itachi clung to his partner as he raced as fast as he could away from Pein, who gave chased, his fists raised above his head as he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"YOU'RE A BUNCH OF DAMN GOSSIPS! AND ABOUT I NO LESS! THE GOD OF PAIN! WELL IT'S TIME YOU SHOW RESPECT! YOU WILL KNOW PAIN! UNDERSTAND PAIN!"

"I UNDERSTAND THE PAIN IN MY HEAD IS BEING CAUSED BY YOUR YELLING!" Itachi screeched back. Kisame would have facepalmed had he not been running for his and Itachi's lives.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE THE CRAZY GUY!" Kisame pleaded. Itachi shrugged as best as he could while

"HE'S BEYOND CRAZY KISA! HE'S A MADMAN WITH A GOD COMPLEX! BUT HE STILL HAS A HOT GIRLFRIEND? HOW DOES THAT WORK? WOMEN MUST BE CRAZY!"

"YOU'RE FOUR! YOU SHOULDN'T BE THINKING LIKE THAT!"

"BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!"

"SHUT UP NOW IF YOU WANT ME TO LIVE!"

This behaviour continued right across Fire Country. Low profile was discarded in favour of speed as the pair raced away from their extremely pissed off Leader. Kisame mentally noted that at the rate he was going, they would reach the base in the morning and therefore first.

* * *

The Zombie duo had been waliking down a set of stone steps when they heard what sounded like screams coming from somewhere in the distance. The miser stopped and looked around in a direction that birds were flying up from, clearly disturbed by some idiots with no idea what stealth was. Hidan looked up at his partner with a raised eyebrow.

"Why did you stop?" he demanded, tugging on the cloak sleeve he had been holding onto as they walked.

"I thought I just heard Kisame and Itachi screaming," Kakuzu mused. Hidan stuck out his tongue.

"It's Jashin! And actually, I think I heard them too," he said, a giggle slipping out. Kakuzu smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Those two are so loud now," he stated, "Who would have thought Itachi would become so loud."

Hidan frowned a little. Glancing up at Kakuzu his brow furrowed.

"But…Tachi's always been like that," he said quietly, "What do you mean Kuzu?"

The stitched ninja realised his mistake just too later and sighed.

"But he was a little quieter at the start, remember?" he asked, secretly hoping he fell for it. Hidan set a finger on his chin as his expression changed to one of being deep in thought. Kakuzu had to admit he did look really cute.

"I suppose so, but he's always been the loud one to me," he replied, "Dei is the cute one!"

Kakuzu smirked and patted his head. Hidan grinned brightly and latched onto his arm.

"Kuzu, I'm kinda hungry," he said, "Can we get food soon?"

"Sure, just make sure it's cheap."

They stopped off at a small tea shop on the road. Zetsu, who was following them from a distance, snuck away to find a tasty, lost snack. Kakuzu ordered him to eat away from Hidan. He didn't need gruesome images stuck in the child's head.

"Yummy, I bet Tachi would be so jealous if he saw all this dango!" Hidan uttered, munching on a stick of the tasty sweets. Kakuzu chuckled a little as he removed his mask to sip on his tea. Hidan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, while watching his partner.

"Why do you wear that mask?" he demanded. Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"I already told you," he drawled, "I wear it out of habit."

It was Hidan's turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, I've heard that version, but really why?" he asked, reaching for another stick of dango. Kakuzu leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"I don't want people to see my face," he said quietly, "I do not like the attention people seem to pay to my appearance."

Hidan smiled and zipped around the table to hug his partner. Pulling the mask away, he traced the stitches on the right side of his face.

"They're really cool," he mused, "You shouldn't cover them up all the time. I like them."

Kakuzu smirked and patted the Jashinist's head.

"If that's what you want, then I suppose I can leave it off for a while," he stated, setting the mask on the table. Hidan grinned and snatched the mask off the table.

You'll leave it off until I say you can have it back!" he giggled, stuffing the mask in his pocket. Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"You're still a pain!"

"I know, but you still love it!"

* * *

**_Ugh...I have to write an essay for art...seriously, the history of portraiture is a little bit bland and I have to include from Ancient Egyptian funeral portraits right up to the periods that my actual project style comes from...blegh...I hate exam boards!_**

**_Anyway, R&R guys._**


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